A friend and I were driving the other day when we came upon a car whose driver was doing a pretty fair imitation of the proverbial drunken sailor.
She sped up, slowed down, weaved in and out of lanes. And that was all in the span of one block.
This wasn't the aftermath of a three-martini lunch, however. Instead, she was busy talking on her cell phone while piloting an SUV the size of a dirigible.
It could have been worse. She could have been multi-tasking. She could have been applying lipstick, drinking coffee, changing CDs and reading the newspaper at the same time. It happens.
"I thought talking on a cell phone while driving was illegal," my friend remarked, hopefully.
Well, almost.
The California ban won't go into effect until July 1 of this year and, while well-intentioned, the bill was softened up by a bevy of body blows delivered by the telecommunications lobby. In fact, it took five years to pass.
The law will allow for cell phone use with hands-free devices such as Bluetooth headsets. Fines for breaking the new law will be $20 for the first offense and $50 every time after, but none of the tickets will impact the driver's insurance. Hardly the stuff of an episode of "Cops."
Aside from the fact that Bluetooth headsets make you look like a Cyborg from a sci-fi flick, there is evidence that suggests requiring drivers to use hands-free devices with their cell phones will do little to reduce crashes.
Research shows being a distracted driver is not necessarily about having both hands on the wheel, it's more about focusing attention on the road.
That should come as no surprise.
Even with both hands on the wheel, learning via cell phone that you've been dumped by your significant other, that someone unknown to you just ran up $5,000 on your credit card at a topless joint or discovering that fixing that leaky faucet will require replumbing your entire house is not going to do a lot to sharpen up your driving skills.
"There's a common misperception that hands-free phones are safer when the research clearly suggests that they're both equally risky," Arthur Goodwin, a researcher at the University of North Carolina Highway Safety Research Center, told the Associated Press.
Among other reasons cited was the fact that the reaction time of cell phone users slows dramatically, increasing the risk of accidents and tying up traffic in general, and when young adults use cell phones while driving, they're as bad as sleepy septuagenarians.
"If you put a 20-year-old driver behind the wheel with a cell phone, their reaction times are the same as a 70-year-old driver who is not using a cell phone," said University of Utah psychology professor David Strayer. "It's like instantly aging a large number of drivers."
Another Utah study showed that motorists who talk on hand-held or hands-free cellular phones are as impaired as drunken drivers.
"We found that people are as impaired when they drive and talk on a cell phone as they are when they drive intoxicated at the legal blood-alcohol limit" of 0.08 percent, which is the minimum level that defines illegal drunken driving in most U.S. states, said study co-author Frank Drews, an assistant professor of psychology.
"If legislators really want to address driver distraction, then they should consider outlawing cell phone use while driving."
Good idea. Except most Americans consider cell phones a God-given right, along with handguns and cheap mortgages.
One city tried a total ban to mostly bad reviews.
Lawrence, Kansas, proposed outlawing all cell phone use in vehicles several years ago.
Before they could hold a hearing, the telecommunications truth squad hit town like an invading army.
Jamie Hastings, director of government affairs for T-Mobile USA, said that her company opposed a complete ban, and that city officials should consider a ban on "McDonald's coffee and kids in the back seat, which can be just as distracting."
John Taylor, a spokesman for Sprint Nextel Corp., said it would be appropriate public policy if all distractions were included in the ordinance. "But since that's not the case, I imagine we would not be supportive of it."
One citizen likened prohibiting cell phone use in the car to a ban on listening to the radio. Another predicted economic doom for the community.
And city officials conceded enforcing such a ban would stretch police resources.
The effort failed.
In the meantime, a ban on hand-held cell phones in Washington, D.C., has resulted in 28,600 citations since 2004.
Which means people are mostly ignoring the law.
Worse, the state of Washington had to pass a law banning text messaging while driving. OMG, who in the world texts while driving? Apparently they do in the land of clouds and caffeine. It makes cell phone use seem downright safe.
Meanwhile, back in California, the bill's sponsor, Sen. Joe Simitian, D-Palo Alto, said he's sure the new law will save lives.
"There isn't a study in the world that says you're safer driving with a cell phone clutched to your ear than when you are driving with both hands on the wheel," he said.
Time will tell.
But next time, Joe, how about a bill banning cell phone use in restaurants.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Politics and Other Sex Games
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of politicians who behave like frat boys on a panty raid.
Not a week after Eliot Spitzer went from being the governor of New York to the punchline of a joke because of a weakness for high-priced hookers, his replacement, Lt. Gov. David A. Paterson, described as "a class act," admitted that he had an extramarital affair. Several, in fact.
Not to be outdone, his wife confided that she had, too.
This follows reports that former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, who resigned his position after he announced he was gay and confessed to adultery with a male lover, was involved in multiple sexual trysts with an aide and his wife Dina Matos, according to stories in the Newark Star Ledger. His wife denied the charges.
McGreevy, since his resignation, teaches ethics, law and leadership at Kean University in New Jersey. He has been accepted to General Theological Seminary, where he will pursue a Master of Divinity degree, required to become an Episcopal priest, according to published reports.
Which follows the arrest of U.S. Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho, for lewd conduct in the men's bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport last June. Craig pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct and has stated that he will not run for re-election.
All of which follows the granddaddy of all political sex scandals involving Bill Clinton and intern Monica Lewinsky getting up close and personal in the Oval Office. Not that it was much of a surprise. Watching Clinton was like following a trash truck on the freeway, throwing off bits of scrap and garbage while it rolls along.
And then there was Gary Hart and Wilbur Mills and Bob Packwood and Wayne Hays.
Look, I'm no prude.
We live in an era of child-molesting priests, morally compromised celebrities and chemical gobbling athletes. Any reasonable person would assume that these same lapses in personal conduct would taint elected officials as well.
We live amid changing sexual mores. Is a dalliance that big a deal anymore? If we are indeed becoming more liberal about these things, shouldn't there be fewer "scandals"?
We live in a country where shamelessness is the order of the day. Watch Dr. Phil if you don't believe it. Or consider this: a New York City securities trader recently filed suit because he claims he was injured when a stripper giving him a lap dance swiveled and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe. Poor guy probably worked at Bear Stearns as well.
We live at a time when public confidence in elected officials is at an all-time low. Having Pete the Politician caught with a blonde named Boom Boom exiting the Tickled Pink Motel doesn't help any.
On the other hand, it's nothing new.
Thomas Jefferson fathered a child with Sally Hemmings, a 17-year-old slave. Alexander Hamilton had a long-term extramarital affair with a woman named Maria Reynolds whose husband blackmailed him.
Besides, Americans love nothing more than a fall-from-grace story, the more rich and powerful and the farther the fall, the better. Which explains why the Spitzer story was the most talked-about event since 9/11.
With the explosion in cable TV and Internet media, there are more and more reporters than ever sniffing the air for scandal. And they're finding it.
Politicians have always misbehaved. We're just hearing about it more now.
That doesn't excuse behavior that is reckless and shameful. It sends a terrible message to our young. And there is little joy in watching the wreckage of a career and/or a family.
Unfortunately, it will never end.
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, according to no less an authority than Henry Kissinger.
Dr. Frank Farley, a Temple University psychologist, quoted in the New York Times, put it this way:
"Politics is a risky business. You're at the whim of the electorate ... it inspires a risk-taking person to go into that line of work."
Added Dr. Judy Kuriansky, of Columbia University, talking about Eliot Spitzer: "You project wrong onto others that is symptomatic of your own behavior. It's called a defense mechanism. Basically, it's unconscious."
Moreover, she said, "when you get into a position of power, you think you're above the law."
None of which explains why these people never seem to consider the consequences.
This might help:
Every office seeker, every elected politician, should keep one scene in mind if he is tempted to stray from the straight and narrow.
Imagine what it must have been like for Eliot Spitzer to sit at the kitchen table, face to face with his wife and three teenage daughters, and tell them what he had done.
Not a week after Eliot Spitzer went from being the governor of New York to the punchline of a joke because of a weakness for high-priced hookers, his replacement, Lt. Gov. David A. Paterson, described as "a class act," admitted that he had an extramarital affair. Several, in fact.
Not to be outdone, his wife confided that she had, too.
This follows reports that former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, who resigned his position after he announced he was gay and confessed to adultery with a male lover, was involved in multiple sexual trysts with an aide and his wife Dina Matos, according to stories in the Newark Star Ledger. His wife denied the charges.
McGreevy, since his resignation, teaches ethics, law and leadership at Kean University in New Jersey. He has been accepted to General Theological Seminary, where he will pursue a Master of Divinity degree, required to become an Episcopal priest, according to published reports.
Which follows the arrest of U.S. Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho, for lewd conduct in the men's bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport last June. Craig pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct and has stated that he will not run for re-election.
All of which follows the granddaddy of all political sex scandals involving Bill Clinton and intern Monica Lewinsky getting up close and personal in the Oval Office. Not that it was much of a surprise. Watching Clinton was like following a trash truck on the freeway, throwing off bits of scrap and garbage while it rolls along.
And then there was Gary Hart and Wilbur Mills and Bob Packwood and Wayne Hays.
Look, I'm no prude.
We live in an era of child-molesting priests, morally compromised celebrities and chemical gobbling athletes. Any reasonable person would assume that these same lapses in personal conduct would taint elected officials as well.
We live amid changing sexual mores. Is a dalliance that big a deal anymore? If we are indeed becoming more liberal about these things, shouldn't there be fewer "scandals"?
We live in a country where shamelessness is the order of the day. Watch Dr. Phil if you don't believe it. Or consider this: a New York City securities trader recently filed suit because he claims he was injured when a stripper giving him a lap dance swiveled and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe. Poor guy probably worked at Bear Stearns as well.
We live at a time when public confidence in elected officials is at an all-time low. Having Pete the Politician caught with a blonde named Boom Boom exiting the Tickled Pink Motel doesn't help any.
On the other hand, it's nothing new.
Thomas Jefferson fathered a child with Sally Hemmings, a 17-year-old slave. Alexander Hamilton had a long-term extramarital affair with a woman named Maria Reynolds whose husband blackmailed him.
Besides, Americans love nothing more than a fall-from-grace story, the more rich and powerful and the farther the fall, the better. Which explains why the Spitzer story was the most talked-about event since 9/11.
With the explosion in cable TV and Internet media, there are more and more reporters than ever sniffing the air for scandal. And they're finding it.
Politicians have always misbehaved. We're just hearing about it more now.
That doesn't excuse behavior that is reckless and shameful. It sends a terrible message to our young. And there is little joy in watching the wreckage of a career and/or a family.
Unfortunately, it will never end.
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, according to no less an authority than Henry Kissinger.
Dr. Frank Farley, a Temple University psychologist, quoted in the New York Times, put it this way:
"Politics is a risky business. You're at the whim of the electorate ... it inspires a risk-taking person to go into that line of work."
Added Dr. Judy Kuriansky, of Columbia University, talking about Eliot Spitzer: "You project wrong onto others that is symptomatic of your own behavior. It's called a defense mechanism. Basically, it's unconscious."
Moreover, she said, "when you get into a position of power, you think you're above the law."
None of which explains why these people never seem to consider the consequences.
This might help:
Every office seeker, every elected politician, should keep one scene in mind if he is tempted to stray from the straight and narrow.
Imagine what it must have been like for Eliot Spitzer to sit at the kitchen table, face to face with his wife and three teenage daughters, and tell them what he had done.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Oldies But Goodies
I consider myself the very model of a modern mature citizen.
I can text with the best of them, I own an I Pod and a flat screen LCD TV complete with Tivo system. I even know how to use it.
I embrace the future and look askance at those who dwell too much inthe past.
Except when it comes to music.
I used to tell my kids that there hadn't been a decent song written since they stopped making 45s. That was a slight exaggeration. But only slight.
Thus it was that I found myself on a recent Saturday night at aDoo-Wop concert at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, listening to the greatest hits of the 50s performed by many of the original artists.
It's been a long time since I've been to concert where those on stage were my age.
The setting was a bit surreal. Doo wop emerged from America's urban centers, a sort of modern-day barbershop quartet music but with a bit of grit and grime as befitting its origins.
It was raucous, it was sweet, it was sexual, it was innocent. It was born on the corners under a street light.
It was also small in the best since of the word, often done a capalla style.
Here it was being presented at a venue erected to house the Academy Awards, a towering edifice with a main floor and three balconies that looked like it could host the Rose Bowl game.
Like the Hollywood it was built to honor, it was massive in scale but somehow superficial.
On the other hand, the place was sold out, packed with people whose bedtimes were approaching as the curtain rose.
There was a lot of conversation in the audience about "the good old days" and "simpler times." Much as I loved the when and where of my childhood, there clearly were some dark moments in the 50s. Some personal recollections:
The smog in most areas of Los Angeles was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Contributing to the problem was the fact that most families had an incinerator in the backyard where they would burn their trash. That was my job as a kid, to take the residue from a family of five out back and torch it every morning. Talk about a carbon footprint.
We practiced dropping under our desks in the case of nuclear attack.This was the time of the Cold War and the threat of the Ruskies engaging us in atomic ping-pong was never far from our minds. (We were bombarded by "public service messages" that portrayed Soviet citizens as shifty-eyed Bolsheviks who hated God and dined on puppies).
Even at a young age, it struck me as a futile gesture to hide beneath a desk when a multiple-headed ICBM was falling out of the sky. But we dutifully hit the floor when the teacher would yell, "Drop down!"
We had an air raid siren on a utility pole just outside the backyard fence at our house, built to be heard for miles around. The authorities would test it monthly and on those days, we would freeze in our tracks for three minutes, paralyzed by the noise and wondering if this it.
In the event of an actual nuclear attack, however, we would have had a head start in dropping under a desk.
We lived in mortal fear of contracting polio.
We lived in mortal fear of the Draft.
I avoided one but not the other.
The Cold War begat McCarthyism and the arms race complete with nuclear testing, much of done down the road in Nevada.
Racial segregation was a fact of life. I didn’t meet an African-American until I was in high school. On the other hand, I am convinced that pop music, such as Doo Wop, did as much to boost integration in American society as sports did.
To give the 50s their due, it was a safer time and we had great personal freedom. As soon as I could ride a bike competently, I could go anywhere with my friends as long as I was back by dinnertime. And we roamed far and wide.
Soft drinks were a nickel, gas was 25 cents a gallon.
It was Friday night football and proms and drive-ins.
It was a lot like "American Graffiti." It was not at all like"Grease."
It was a time of discovery. Of friends and first cars and first loves.
It was the time of my youth.
Or as the Earls so succinctly put it in their classic song, "RememberThen,":
"Wop, wop, patta patta pop-pop, shoo-wop-dah bop bop..."
I can text with the best of them, I own an I Pod and a flat screen LCD TV complete with Tivo system. I even know how to use it.
I embrace the future and look askance at those who dwell too much inthe past.
Except when it comes to music.
I used to tell my kids that there hadn't been a decent song written since they stopped making 45s. That was a slight exaggeration. But only slight.
Thus it was that I found myself on a recent Saturday night at aDoo-Wop concert at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, listening to the greatest hits of the 50s performed by many of the original artists.
It's been a long time since I've been to concert where those on stage were my age.
The setting was a bit surreal. Doo wop emerged from America's urban centers, a sort of modern-day barbershop quartet music but with a bit of grit and grime as befitting its origins.
It was raucous, it was sweet, it was sexual, it was innocent. It was born on the corners under a street light.
It was also small in the best since of the word, often done a capalla style.
Here it was being presented at a venue erected to house the Academy Awards, a towering edifice with a main floor and three balconies that looked like it could host the Rose Bowl game.
Like the Hollywood it was built to honor, it was massive in scale but somehow superficial.
On the other hand, the place was sold out, packed with people whose bedtimes were approaching as the curtain rose.
There was a lot of conversation in the audience about "the good old days" and "simpler times." Much as I loved the when and where of my childhood, there clearly were some dark moments in the 50s. Some personal recollections:
The smog in most areas of Los Angeles was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Contributing to the problem was the fact that most families had an incinerator in the backyard where they would burn their trash. That was my job as a kid, to take the residue from a family of five out back and torch it every morning. Talk about a carbon footprint.
We practiced dropping under our desks in the case of nuclear attack.This was the time of the Cold War and the threat of the Ruskies engaging us in atomic ping-pong was never far from our minds. (We were bombarded by "public service messages" that portrayed Soviet citizens as shifty-eyed Bolsheviks who hated God and dined on puppies).
Even at a young age, it struck me as a futile gesture to hide beneath a desk when a multiple-headed ICBM was falling out of the sky. But we dutifully hit the floor when the teacher would yell, "Drop down!"
We had an air raid siren on a utility pole just outside the backyard fence at our house, built to be heard for miles around. The authorities would test it monthly and on those days, we would freeze in our tracks for three minutes, paralyzed by the noise and wondering if this it.
In the event of an actual nuclear attack, however, we would have had a head start in dropping under a desk.
We lived in mortal fear of contracting polio.
We lived in mortal fear of the Draft.
I avoided one but not the other.
The Cold War begat McCarthyism and the arms race complete with nuclear testing, much of done down the road in Nevada.
Racial segregation was a fact of life. I didn’t meet an African-American until I was in high school. On the other hand, I am convinced that pop music, such as Doo Wop, did as much to boost integration in American society as sports did.
To give the 50s their due, it was a safer time and we had great personal freedom. As soon as I could ride a bike competently, I could go anywhere with my friends as long as I was back by dinnertime. And we roamed far and wide.
Soft drinks were a nickel, gas was 25 cents a gallon.
It was Friday night football and proms and drive-ins.
It was a lot like "American Graffiti." It was not at all like"Grease."
It was a time of discovery. Of friends and first cars and first loves.
It was the time of my youth.
Or as the Earls so succinctly put it in their classic song, "RememberThen,":
"Wop, wop, patta patta pop-pop, shoo-wop-dah bop bop..."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
A Leap of Faith
I remarked to family and friends the other day that I was miffed the month of February is being extended by a day.
It's that Leap Year thing again.
I've never been a big fan of February. In my mind, it's a bleak period of time between the joy of the holidays and the promise of Spring.
Oh, sure, we celebrate the birthdays of Lincoln and Washington. Without them, we might be whistling "Dixie" or singing "God Save the Queen."
But it's also the month that gave us Alice Cooper, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Gary Coleman.
We celebrate Mardi Gras and Groundhog Day. It's also Canned Food Month and Creative Romance Month (and includes International Flirting Week).
It was the month Pluto was discovered and Marx and Engels published the "Communist Manifesto." Both turned out to be abysmal failures.
It was about this time in my ruminations that my wife, in a tone that could be generously described as icy, reminded me that it was also when we celebrate Valentine's Day and the birth of our youngest daughter.
Of course, I stammered, it goes without saying.
An African-American friend pointed out it was Black History Month. Naturally, they gave us the shortest month of the year, he added.
All of which encouraged me to retreat to Leap Year as a safe topic for discussion.
Here's simple rule of thumb to determine when we have Leap Year.
Every year that is divisible by four is a leap year; of those years, if it can be divided by 100, it is not a leap year, unless the year is divisible by 400. Then it is a leap year.
OK, so it's not so simple. Rector's Rule: Open the calendar to February and see if there's an extra day listed.
We need to do this so we can keep our calendar in alignment with the earth's revolutions around the sun.
There's a lot more astronomical data available but if you're really that interested, call Caltech.
In the English speaking world, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years, according to Internet research. While it has been argued that the tradition was initiated by Saint Patrick or Brigid of Kildare in 5th century Ireland, there is little to substantiate this version of history.
Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to a silk gown to a 100 pound fine.
That same Internet research indicated that Queen Margaret was age 5 and living in Norway at the time but, what the heck, it makes a good story.
It was also said that if the woman who did the asking failed to wear a scarlet flanel petticoat or if a corner of said petticoat was not partly visible under her dress, the man who declined would be spared the bad luck that came with his cold shoulder.
American culture, as is its custom, took these traditions and ran roughshod with them.
It was turned into Sadie Hawkins day, named after a character in Al Capp's Li'l Abner comic strip. On this day, spinsters in Dogpatch chased the single men in town and if the woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her.
These days, women chase men 365 days a year thanks to Internet dating services.
There's nothing unique about this. For example, Hillary Clinton is chasing Barack Obama all over the United States. And sundown is coming fast.
In a totally unrelated development, Republicans in Sacramento has historically derided "nanny government," one that excessively attempts to regulate peoples' lives.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that a Republican lawmaker from the Central Valley has introduced legislation that would allow big government to reach into your car and make it illegal for motorists to keep pets on their laps.
"If you have an animal that gets in your face or gets tangled up in your steering wheel while you're driving, you can't properly control (the car),' said Assemblyman Bill Maze, R-Visalia, who introduced the bill.
Assembly Bill 2233 does not say how drivers would keep pets -- defined in the bill as "live animals" -- in their place. Maze suggested using a cage or having another passenger hold them.
The irony is that Maze voted against the bill that bans the use of hand-held cell phones in cars that goes into effect this summer, according to the Fresno Bee. He said the difference between that bill and his bill is that you can turn off a cell phone, but not a dog or cat.
Unless you had a Great Dane sitting on your lap, I'm not sure how this particular law would enforced.
But I'm sure Maze will be ironing out the details at the same time he's dealing with the state budget's $16 billion budget shortfall.
It's that Leap Year thing again.
I've never been a big fan of February. In my mind, it's a bleak period of time between the joy of the holidays and the promise of Spring.
Oh, sure, we celebrate the birthdays of Lincoln and Washington. Without them, we might be whistling "Dixie" or singing "God Save the Queen."
But it's also the month that gave us Alice Cooper, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Gary Coleman.
We celebrate Mardi Gras and Groundhog Day. It's also Canned Food Month and Creative Romance Month (and includes International Flirting Week).
It was the month Pluto was discovered and Marx and Engels published the "Communist Manifesto." Both turned out to be abysmal failures.
It was about this time in my ruminations that my wife, in a tone that could be generously described as icy, reminded me that it was also when we celebrate Valentine's Day and the birth of our youngest daughter.
Of course, I stammered, it goes without saying.
An African-American friend pointed out it was Black History Month. Naturally, they gave us the shortest month of the year, he added.
All of which encouraged me to retreat to Leap Year as a safe topic for discussion.
Here's simple rule of thumb to determine when we have Leap Year.
Every year that is divisible by four is a leap year; of those years, if it can be divided by 100, it is not a leap year, unless the year is divisible by 400. Then it is a leap year.
OK, so it's not so simple. Rector's Rule: Open the calendar to February and see if there's an extra day listed.
We need to do this so we can keep our calendar in alignment with the earth's revolutions around the sun.
There's a lot more astronomical data available but if you're really that interested, call Caltech.
In the English speaking world, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years, according to Internet research. While it has been argued that the tradition was initiated by Saint Patrick or Brigid of Kildare in 5th century Ireland, there is little to substantiate this version of history.
Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to a silk gown to a 100 pound fine.
That same Internet research indicated that Queen Margaret was age 5 and living in Norway at the time but, what the heck, it makes a good story.
It was also said that if the woman who did the asking failed to wear a scarlet flanel petticoat or if a corner of said petticoat was not partly visible under her dress, the man who declined would be spared the bad luck that came with his cold shoulder.
American culture, as is its custom, took these traditions and ran roughshod with them.
It was turned into Sadie Hawkins day, named after a character in Al Capp's Li'l Abner comic strip. On this day, spinsters in Dogpatch chased the single men in town and if the woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her.
These days, women chase men 365 days a year thanks to Internet dating services.
There's nothing unique about this. For example, Hillary Clinton is chasing Barack Obama all over the United States. And sundown is coming fast.
In a totally unrelated development, Republicans in Sacramento has historically derided "nanny government," one that excessively attempts to regulate peoples' lives.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that a Republican lawmaker from the Central Valley has introduced legislation that would allow big government to reach into your car and make it illegal for motorists to keep pets on their laps.
"If you have an animal that gets in your face or gets tangled up in your steering wheel while you're driving, you can't properly control (the car),' said Assemblyman Bill Maze, R-Visalia, who introduced the bill.
Assembly Bill 2233 does not say how drivers would keep pets -- defined in the bill as "live animals" -- in their place. Maze suggested using a cage or having another passenger hold them.
The irony is that Maze voted against the bill that bans the use of hand-held cell phones in cars that goes into effect this summer, according to the Fresno Bee. He said the difference between that bill and his bill is that you can turn off a cell phone, but not a dog or cat.
Unless you had a Great Dane sitting on your lap, I'm not sure how this particular law would enforced.
But I'm sure Maze will be ironing out the details at the same time he's dealing with the state budget's $16 billion budget shortfall.
The Pot Calls the Kettle Black
THIS journalism business can be humbling at times.
Last week, I wrote about Trader Joe's banning single ingredient food items imported from China due to consumer concerns.
And rightfully so, I concluded. Since last year, when contaminated Chinese pet food killed or sickened thousands of animals in the U.S., some food imports were being stopped at the port and lead-tainted toys made in China were being yanked from store shelves, Chinese imports have come under increasing scrutiny, not without some justification.
As it turns out, this was a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.
That's because several days later, the U.S. Department of Agriculture ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from Hallmark/Westland Meat Co. of Chino, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation.
It's the biggest recall in history from a company that supplies meat for - can this get any worse? - school lunches and other public nutrition programs.
Hallmark/Westland also produces the makings for some of those goodies you wolf down at Jack-in-the-Box and In-N-Out.
The USDA, looking to put a positive spin on this fiasco, said the vast majority of the meat involved in the recall probably has been eaten already. And the danger to consumers was minimal.
It all goes to remind us that we should put our own house in order before pointing a finger at someone else.
The recall came after the Humane Society released a video showing workers at the Chino plant using prods, water hoses and even fork lifts to raise "downer cattle," those too weak to walk, so that they could be slaughtered.
Downer cattle are not supposed to be used as meat until a veterinarian determines whether an animal is injured or sick. Cows that cannot walk pose an added risk of mad cow disease.
The video was disturbing, to say the least. So disturbing that the San Bernardino County officials filed felony and misdemeanor charges alleging animal cruelty against two Hallmark employees.
There are no nice videos of slaughterhouses. It's a place where big animals become bite-sized. It's a violent and dehumanizing process.
But we are a nation of meat eaters so we look the other way.
Yet the never-pretty picture is getting uglier:
In 1999, 35 million pounds of hot dogs and pork and poultry projects were recalled from the Thorn Apple Valley's Forest City, Ark., processing plant because of possible contamination with the bacteria that causes listeriosis.
In September 2007, Topps Meat Co. recalled 21 million pounds of ground beef that may have been contaminated with E. coli bacteria.
In June 2007, a California meat supplier expanded a beef recall to include a total of 5.7 million pounds of both fresh and frozen products because they might have been contaminated with E. coli. United Food Group, LLC, already had announced two recalls. But a positive test for E. coli in a patient in Arizona pushed the company to expand the recall.
In November 2007, Cargill Meat Solutions recalled more than 1 million pounds of ground beef products because they may have been contaminated with E. coli bacteria.
There were 21 recalls of beef related to E. coli last year, compared with eight in 2006 and five in 2005, according to the New York Times. No one is quite sure what caused the increase, although theories include the cyclical nature of pathogens and changes in cattle-feeding practices caused by the ethanol boom.
None of that makes sense to Michael R. Taylor, who headed the USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service during the Clinton administration.
The current inspection scheme is obsolete and wasteful, Taylor told the AP. Much as they did 100 years ago, USDA inspectors check hundreds of millions of beef and pork carcasses and some 8 billion chickens annually devoting about 2 seconds to each bird, he said.
Instead, the focus should be on checking for E. coli bacteria in beef, and other microscopic dangers in poultry, he said.
In the meantime, there is little likelihood that the buying public will change its eating habits.
Consumers kept eating beef after the first U.S. case of mad cow disease in December 2003. While U.S. beef exports dropped sharply then, domestic demand was largely unchanged.
The good news is that they're taking notice in Washington.
Senate Agriculture Committee Chairman Tom Harkin said in a statement that USDA must toughen its inspection measures before animals are slaughtered to prevent future occurrences.
"How much longer will we continue to test our luck with weak enforcement of federal food safety regulations?" said the Iowa Democrat. "Federal regulations exist for a reason - to protect public health."
Last week, I wrote about Trader Joe's banning single ingredient food items imported from China due to consumer concerns.
And rightfully so, I concluded. Since last year, when contaminated Chinese pet food killed or sickened thousands of animals in the U.S., some food imports were being stopped at the port and lead-tainted toys made in China were being yanked from store shelves, Chinese imports have come under increasing scrutiny, not without some justification.
As it turns out, this was a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.
That's because several days later, the U.S. Department of Agriculture ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from Hallmark/Westland Meat Co. of Chino, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation.
It's the biggest recall in history from a company that supplies meat for - can this get any worse? - school lunches and other public nutrition programs.
Hallmark/Westland also produces the makings for some of those goodies you wolf down at Jack-in-the-Box and In-N-Out.
The USDA, looking to put a positive spin on this fiasco, said the vast majority of the meat involved in the recall probably has been eaten already. And the danger to consumers was minimal.
It all goes to remind us that we should put our own house in order before pointing a finger at someone else.
The recall came after the Humane Society released a video showing workers at the Chino plant using prods, water hoses and even fork lifts to raise "downer cattle," those too weak to walk, so that they could be slaughtered.
Downer cattle are not supposed to be used as meat until a veterinarian determines whether an animal is injured or sick. Cows that cannot walk pose an added risk of mad cow disease.
The video was disturbing, to say the least. So disturbing that the San Bernardino County officials filed felony and misdemeanor charges alleging animal cruelty against two Hallmark employees.
There are no nice videos of slaughterhouses. It's a place where big animals become bite-sized. It's a violent and dehumanizing process.
But we are a nation of meat eaters so we look the other way.
Yet the never-pretty picture is getting uglier:
In 1999, 35 million pounds of hot dogs and pork and poultry projects were recalled from the Thorn Apple Valley's Forest City, Ark., processing plant because of possible contamination with the bacteria that causes listeriosis.
In September 2007, Topps Meat Co. recalled 21 million pounds of ground beef that may have been contaminated with E. coli bacteria.
In June 2007, a California meat supplier expanded a beef recall to include a total of 5.7 million pounds of both fresh and frozen products because they might have been contaminated with E. coli. United Food Group, LLC, already had announced two recalls. But a positive test for E. coli in a patient in Arizona pushed the company to expand the recall.
In November 2007, Cargill Meat Solutions recalled more than 1 million pounds of ground beef products because they may have been contaminated with E. coli bacteria.
There were 21 recalls of beef related to E. coli last year, compared with eight in 2006 and five in 2005, according to the New York Times. No one is quite sure what caused the increase, although theories include the cyclical nature of pathogens and changes in cattle-feeding practices caused by the ethanol boom.
None of that makes sense to Michael R. Taylor, who headed the USDA's Food Safety and Inspection Service during the Clinton administration.
The current inspection scheme is obsolete and wasteful, Taylor told the AP. Much as they did 100 years ago, USDA inspectors check hundreds of millions of beef and pork carcasses and some 8 billion chickens annually devoting about 2 seconds to each bird, he said.
Instead, the focus should be on checking for E. coli bacteria in beef, and other microscopic dangers in poultry, he said.
In the meantime, there is little likelihood that the buying public will change its eating habits.
Consumers kept eating beef after the first U.S. case of mad cow disease in December 2003. While U.S. beef exports dropped sharply then, domestic demand was largely unchanged.
The good news is that they're taking notice in Washington.
Senate Agriculture Committee Chairman Tom Harkin said in a statement that USDA must toughen its inspection measures before animals are slaughtered to prevent future occurrences.
"How much longer will we continue to test our luck with weak enforcement of federal food safety regulations?" said the Iowa Democrat. "Federal regulations exist for a reason - to protect public health."
The China Syndrome
TRADER Joe's, the quirky grocery store chain that crams its narrow aisles with bargain gourmet and ethnic foods and $2 wine, is drawing a line in the gastronomical sand.
No more, they announced this week, would they carry single ingredient items that are imported from China. These would include imports such as garlic, frozen organic spinach, ginger and edamame, a green soybean, according to a spokesperson for the chain.
The ban is the result of unspecified "consumer concerns" about "products from this region."
But the Monrovia-based chain said they would continue to stock products that include Chinese ingredients.
This might seem an odd stance for a company that routinely entices its customers with Peanut Satay Noodles, fresh grilled tofu spring rolls, asparagus risotto or Mango Ginger Chutney.
But in view of recent events, it should come as no great surprise that there are "consumer concerns" about all things Chinese.
Since last year, when contaminated Chinese pet food killed or sickened thousands of animals in the U.S. and lead-tainted toys made in China were being yanked from toy store shelves, Chinese imports have become about as welcome as mad cow disease in this country.
A recent USA Today/Gallup poll found 46 percent of those polled are "very concerned" about the safety of food imported from China; another 28 percent said they were "somewhat concerned" about Chinese food products.
In the past year, the Food and Drug Administration has detained at U.S. ports such Chinese delicacies as:
Dried apples preserved with a cancer-causing chemical.
Frozen catfish laden with banned antibiotics.
Scallops and sardines coated with putrefying bacteria.
Mushrooms laced with illegal pesticides.
Not to mention thousands of shipments of tainted Chinese dietary supplements, toxic Chinese cosmetics and counterfeit Chinese medicines.
It is only fair to point out that the danger from contaminated Chinese food imports remains small. According to the U.S. Agriculture Department, less than one percent of America's food supply comes from China.
"Generally speaking, American consumers should not worry too much," reassured Luo Yunbo, head of the Food Science and Nutrition Engineering Institute at China's Agricultural University in Beijing. "We select the best products for the international markets."
Reassuring? Perhaps. But who among us wants to take a chance and wolf down a plate of sardines with a side of bacteria? Apparently, not the people who shop at Trader Joe's, and the market chain has, wisely, responded.
What is surprising is that, according to several media reports, other market chains aren't following Trader Joe's lead.
Whole Foods Market told the Los Angeles Times that it was "in a different situation" when it came to products from China.
"We don't carry them in our fresh meat, seafood or produce departments and we offer a very, very small amount in our grocery department," the Austin, Texas-based seller of natural and organic groceries said. Whole Foods added that it didn't make sense "to stop the progress we have made with sourcing select high-quality products for our private-label brands that come from China and other global partners."
El Segundo-based Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Market, the Trader Joe's competitor owned by British grocer Tesco, said it would continue to sell food imported from China.
In the meantime, the New York Times reported recently that the U.S. Olympic team is planning to take its own food to China for the Summer Games.
When a caterer working for the U.S. Olympic Committee went to a supermarket in China last year, he encountered a piece of chicken-half of a breast-that measured 14 inches, enough to feed a family of eight.
"We had it tested and it was so full of steroids that we never could have given it to athletes. They all would have tested positive," said one official.
No more, they announced this week, would they carry single ingredient items that are imported from China. These would include imports such as garlic, frozen organic spinach, ginger and edamame, a green soybean, according to a spokesperson for the chain.
The ban is the result of unspecified "consumer concerns" about "products from this region."
But the Monrovia-based chain said they would continue to stock products that include Chinese ingredients.
This might seem an odd stance for a company that routinely entices its customers with Peanut Satay Noodles, fresh grilled tofu spring rolls, asparagus risotto or Mango Ginger Chutney.
But in view of recent events, it should come as no great surprise that there are "consumer concerns" about all things Chinese.
Since last year, when contaminated Chinese pet food killed or sickened thousands of animals in the U.S. and lead-tainted toys made in China were being yanked from toy store shelves, Chinese imports have become about as welcome as mad cow disease in this country.
A recent USA Today/Gallup poll found 46 percent of those polled are "very concerned" about the safety of food imported from China; another 28 percent said they were "somewhat concerned" about Chinese food products.
In the past year, the Food and Drug Administration has detained at U.S. ports such Chinese delicacies as:
Dried apples preserved with a cancer-causing chemical.
Frozen catfish laden with banned antibiotics.
Scallops and sardines coated with putrefying bacteria.
Mushrooms laced with illegal pesticides.
Not to mention thousands of shipments of tainted Chinese dietary supplements, toxic Chinese cosmetics and counterfeit Chinese medicines.
It is only fair to point out that the danger from contaminated Chinese food imports remains small. According to the U.S. Agriculture Department, less than one percent of America's food supply comes from China.
"Generally speaking, American consumers should not worry too much," reassured Luo Yunbo, head of the Food Science and Nutrition Engineering Institute at China's Agricultural University in Beijing. "We select the best products for the international markets."
Reassuring? Perhaps. But who among us wants to take a chance and wolf down a plate of sardines with a side of bacteria? Apparently, not the people who shop at Trader Joe's, and the market chain has, wisely, responded.
What is surprising is that, according to several media reports, other market chains aren't following Trader Joe's lead.
Whole Foods Market told the Los Angeles Times that it was "in a different situation" when it came to products from China.
"We don't carry them in our fresh meat, seafood or produce departments and we offer a very, very small amount in our grocery department," the Austin, Texas-based seller of natural and organic groceries said. Whole Foods added that it didn't make sense "to stop the progress we have made with sourcing select high-quality products for our private-label brands that come from China and other global partners."
El Segundo-based Fresh & Easy Neighborhood Market, the Trader Joe's competitor owned by British grocer Tesco, said it would continue to sell food imported from China.
In the meantime, the New York Times reported recently that the U.S. Olympic team is planning to take its own food to China for the Summer Games.
When a caterer working for the U.S. Olympic Committee went to a supermarket in China last year, he encountered a piece of chicken-half of a breast-that measured 14 inches, enough to feed a family of eight.
"We had it tested and it was so full of steroids that we never could have given it to athletes. They all would have tested positive," said one official.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
You Can Bet On It
Super Tuesday is coming, the day when the smoke clears from the political battleground and the leading presidential candidates emerge bloodied but mostly unbowed.
It is on this day that Americans will come face to face with the reality that, once again, they will be choosing between the lesser of two evils.
Every pundit who can hunt and peck will engage in endless analysis and prognostication even though, as the Wall Street Journal points out, their conclusions "are about as accurate as a chimp throwing darts."
Even though this column is as good as the next guy at reaching vague conclusions that can be applied to almost any result, we have decided to pass on politics. For now.
Besides, we are betting our rebate check that Hillary Clinton willbeat John McCain in November.
Instead, we will turn our attention to more pressing matters. Like the Super Bowl.
Yes, it's that time again for the most hyped but often least interesting game of the year. This year's contest on Sunday features the New England Patriots and the New York Giants, two teams of interest mostly to snow-bound residents in the northeastern United States.
For them, it's about civic pride. For the rest of us, it's about picking the best beer commercial.
The Patriots are undefeated, devouring their opponents like so many fire ants on the march and led by a dour coach who displays all the warmth and grace of Joseph Stalin.
The Giants actually play in New Jersey. Enough said.
I'll rip open a bag of torilla chips and watch it but without much emotion.
Indeed, the last time I got really enthused about a Super Bowl was when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson's top during a half time show.
There is one sure-fire way of making the game interesting, however. Bet on it.
You don't need to be a football fan to put a few bucks down on the game. In fact, you don't need to know a quarterback from a quiche.
According to some betting websites, you can bet on who the most valuable player will thank first: teammates, God, family, coach, or no one.
You can bet on what song Tom Petty will sing to end his half time show.
You can get a few bucks down on how long it take Jordin Sparks to sing the National anthem. Over 1 minute 42 seconds, or under 1 minutes 42.
You can bet on whether Brittany Spears will show up, and whether she will streak the field.
You can also wager on who will win the coin toss, who will call the first time out, who will be the first player called for holding, whether the first player to score will have an odd or even number jersey, whether the first missed field goal will be wide left or right.
Of course, you can develop your own bets right at home. Who will be the first to take a bathroom break, who will be the first to dump a plate of nachos cheese-side down on your new couch, who willbe the first to say "I don't get it" after a multimillion dollar commercials creens, who will be the first to doze off in the middle of the game after consuming hot wings, chili, pizza and beer.
But whatever it takes, try to enjoy the game. It will be over in three hours. The presidential campaign will last another 10 months.
It is on this day that Americans will come face to face with the reality that, once again, they will be choosing between the lesser of two evils.
Every pundit who can hunt and peck will engage in endless analysis and prognostication even though, as the Wall Street Journal points out, their conclusions "are about as accurate as a chimp throwing darts."
Even though this column is as good as the next guy at reaching vague conclusions that can be applied to almost any result, we have decided to pass on politics. For now.
Besides, we are betting our rebate check that Hillary Clinton willbeat John McCain in November.
Instead, we will turn our attention to more pressing matters. Like the Super Bowl.
Yes, it's that time again for the most hyped but often least interesting game of the year. This year's contest on Sunday features the New England Patriots and the New York Giants, two teams of interest mostly to snow-bound residents in the northeastern United States.
For them, it's about civic pride. For the rest of us, it's about picking the best beer commercial.
The Patriots are undefeated, devouring their opponents like so many fire ants on the march and led by a dour coach who displays all the warmth and grace of Joseph Stalin.
The Giants actually play in New Jersey. Enough said.
I'll rip open a bag of torilla chips and watch it but without much emotion.
Indeed, the last time I got really enthused about a Super Bowl was when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson's top during a half time show.
There is one sure-fire way of making the game interesting, however. Bet on it.
You don't need to be a football fan to put a few bucks down on the game. In fact, you don't need to know a quarterback from a quiche.
According to some betting websites, you can bet on who the most valuable player will thank first: teammates, God, family, coach, or no one.
You can bet on what song Tom Petty will sing to end his half time show.
You can get a few bucks down on how long it take Jordin Sparks to sing the National anthem. Over 1 minute 42 seconds, or under 1 minutes 42.
You can bet on whether Brittany Spears will show up, and whether she will streak the field.
You can also wager on who will win the coin toss, who will call the first time out, who will be the first player called for holding, whether the first player to score will have an odd or even number jersey, whether the first missed field goal will be wide left or right.
Of course, you can develop your own bets right at home. Who will be the first to take a bathroom break, who will be the first to dump a plate of nachos cheese-side down on your new couch, who willbe the first to say "I don't get it" after a multimillion dollar commercials creens, who will be the first to doze off in the middle of the game after consuming hot wings, chili, pizza and beer.
But whatever it takes, try to enjoy the game. It will be over in three hours. The presidential campaign will last another 10 months.
A Campaign Trail of Tears
The Democratic presidential candidate debate Monday night in South Carllina at times assumed all the trappings of a finger-pointing feud between opposing football fans.
Hillary was a coporate shill for Wal Mart. Barack worked for a slumlord. Hillary twists facts. Barrack won't take responsibility for his actions. And what about that pesky Bill?
In the middle of this spat sat John Edwards, looking for all theworld like a guy trying to mediate a rancorous divorce proceeding.
The media laps this up, of course. It's great political theater and it gives the assembled reporters something different to write about after hearing the same stump speech five times a day. But if you're interested in positions and issues, well, that gets lost in the sound and fury.
I liken it to making a choice from a ring full of boxers. The one with the biggest roundhouse right wins.
All of this took place on a day when the nation payed homage to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who embraced nonviolence as a political strategy. On more than one occasion, the candidates speculated that Dr. King would have been proud to see a woman and an Afican American contesting for the highest office in the land.
Perhaps. But I suspect Dr. King would also have been saddened by the level of personal attacks that have surfaced in the race. Not only is the tone of the race divisive, but race, gender,religion and age have become issues, issues you would have thought we were past inthis country.
Hillary Clinton is both a victim of and an advocate of gender politics. She has lashed out at the "old boys network" and accused fellow candidates, all male, of ganging up on her.
And when her eyes welled up and she became emotional while campaigning in New Hampshire, intended or not, it may have won her that state's primary by capturing the female vote.(Interestingly enough, when Ed Muskie got teary eyed in NewHampshire in 1972 over attacks on his candidacy, it was largely seen as costing him the election).
On the other hand, Clinton has been called a "bitch," rumored tobe a lesbian and criticized because when she displays leadership, she is somehow seen as less feminine.
Barack Obama has his own mountians to climb. He's not only African American, he's criticized for not being black enough, not even as black as Bill Clinton who is white. On top of that, he has been accused in anonymous Internet postings of being a Muslim who took his oath of office on aQur'an and refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
For the record, hehas been a member of a large Christian church in Chicago for more than 20 years and has led the U.S. Senate in the pledge.
Mitt Romney is a Mormon who has been forced to defend his faith, much as John F. Kennedy spoke about his Catholicism in 1962. One Internet report described Mormonism as some kind of devil worship. During the holidays, some South Carolina voters got a Christmas card, purportedly from Romney. Inside were references to his Mormon faith, including a defense of thechurch's former practice of polygamy.
A flier distributed in South Carolina accused John McCain offathering a "Negro child" (McCain's wife adopted an orphan in Bangladesh years earlier) and has been accused of selling out his fellow POWs when he was held prisoner in North Vietnam. McCain, 71, is also too old to run for the presidency, according to Chuck Norris, a Mike Huckabee supporter and Grade B actor whose thespian abilities apparently exceed his IQ.
Speaking of Huckabee, a Southern Baptist preacher, two evangelical pastors in Iowa who are personally supporting the candidate received anonymous mailings warning that their churches risk sanction by the Internal Revenue Service if they become too involved in politics.
If Dr. King returned, he would probably believe we would have grown and matured since he last walked this earth.He would be wrong.
Hillary was a coporate shill for Wal Mart. Barack worked for a slumlord. Hillary twists facts. Barrack won't take responsibility for his actions. And what about that pesky Bill?
In the middle of this spat sat John Edwards, looking for all theworld like a guy trying to mediate a rancorous divorce proceeding.
The media laps this up, of course. It's great political theater and it gives the assembled reporters something different to write about after hearing the same stump speech five times a day. But if you're interested in positions and issues, well, that gets lost in the sound and fury.
I liken it to making a choice from a ring full of boxers. The one with the biggest roundhouse right wins.
All of this took place on a day when the nation payed homage to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who embraced nonviolence as a political strategy. On more than one occasion, the candidates speculated that Dr. King would have been proud to see a woman and an Afican American contesting for the highest office in the land.
Perhaps. But I suspect Dr. King would also have been saddened by the level of personal attacks that have surfaced in the race. Not only is the tone of the race divisive, but race, gender,religion and age have become issues, issues you would have thought we were past inthis country.
Hillary Clinton is both a victim of and an advocate of gender politics. She has lashed out at the "old boys network" and accused fellow candidates, all male, of ganging up on her.
And when her eyes welled up and she became emotional while campaigning in New Hampshire, intended or not, it may have won her that state's primary by capturing the female vote.(Interestingly enough, when Ed Muskie got teary eyed in NewHampshire in 1972 over attacks on his candidacy, it was largely seen as costing him the election).
On the other hand, Clinton has been called a "bitch," rumored tobe a lesbian and criticized because when she displays leadership, she is somehow seen as less feminine.
Barack Obama has his own mountians to climb. He's not only African American, he's criticized for not being black enough, not even as black as Bill Clinton who is white. On top of that, he has been accused in anonymous Internet postings of being a Muslim who took his oath of office on aQur'an and refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
For the record, hehas been a member of a large Christian church in Chicago for more than 20 years and has led the U.S. Senate in the pledge.
Mitt Romney is a Mormon who has been forced to defend his faith, much as John F. Kennedy spoke about his Catholicism in 1962. One Internet report described Mormonism as some kind of devil worship. During the holidays, some South Carolina voters got a Christmas card, purportedly from Romney. Inside were references to his Mormon faith, including a defense of thechurch's former practice of polygamy.
A flier distributed in South Carolina accused John McCain offathering a "Negro child" (McCain's wife adopted an orphan in Bangladesh years earlier) and has been accused of selling out his fellow POWs when he was held prisoner in North Vietnam. McCain, 71, is also too old to run for the presidency, according to Chuck Norris, a Mike Huckabee supporter and Grade B actor whose thespian abilities apparently exceed his IQ.
Speaking of Huckabee, a Southern Baptist preacher, two evangelical pastors in Iowa who are personally supporting the candidate received anonymous mailings warning that their churches risk sanction by the Internal Revenue Service if they become too involved in politics.
If Dr. King returned, he would probably believe we would have grown and matured since he last walked this earth.He would be wrong.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Food for Thought
THIS month, I join millions of my fellow Americans in what has become a mid-winter tradition that is as predictable as snowfall in Maine.
It may be football playoff season, it may be presidential primary season, but I'm willing to bet more people participate in this activity then all the punts and pundits rolled into one.
I speak, of course, of dieting.
This column has complained loudly in the past about people who gobble up double cheeseburgers by the bagful and then sue McDonald's because they packed on an extra 100 pounds.
And this column has insisted that personal responsibility is the true path to dietary health.
This column doesn't always practice what it preaches.
While I haven't fallen into the grotesquely obese category yet, it wouldn't hurt me to drop 20 pounds, to use a nice round figure which also describes my current body configuration.
I don't suppose it does much good to blame your weight gain on outside forces.
But what the hell, I'll do it anyway.
Reason No. 1: Tailgating. We have been UCLA football season ticket holders at the Rose Bowl for 25 years. It used to be a hot dog and a beer before a game. But tailgating has taken on all the trappings of a cordon bleu competition. Now, it's a salad course, a main course with side dishes, a dessert course all accompanied by three kinds of wine.
Then there's a post-game dinner, which, considering the performance of the UCLA football team
over the last few years, involves lots of comfort food.
Reason No. 2: Thanksgiving. Somebody told me that turkey is good for you. So I eat lots of it. So do most of my friends. Which brings up an interesting point.
According to a study by the New England Journal of Medicine, obesity can spread from person to person, much like a virus. When one person gains weight, close friends tend to gain weight, too.
The researchers reported that people were most likely to become obese when a friend became obese. That increased a person's chances of becoming obese by 57 percent. It did not even matter if the friend was hundreds of miles away, the influence remained. And the greatest influence of all was between close mutual friends. There, if one became obese, the other had a 171 percent increased chance of becoming obese, too.
Clearly, I need more skinny friends.
Reason No. 3: By the time we get to Christmas, we're in capitulation mode. Any thoughts of dietary sanity are postponed until after Jan. 1. After all, isn't that why we have New Year's resolutions?
I did read one helpful hint about how to survive holiday feasting:
Simply tie a piece of string around your waist before the meal - under your clothes. It shouldn't be too tight. You should be able to get a fist between it and you. When it starts to draw blood, you should probably stop eating.
Reason No. 4: I love to eat. I also believe that if you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
So how to drop a few pounds?
Well, there's the Evo Diet. As part of an experiment for BBC-TV, a group of volunteers set up a tent in a zoo - and ate like the apes for 12 days. A nutritionist devised a "three-day rotating menu of fruit, vegetables, nuts and honey."
The results were impressive: Cholesterol dropped an average of 23 percent. Blood pressure fell from a level of 140/83 to 122/76. An unintended side effect was weight loss: 9.7 pounds.
The bad news is that you have an unsaitable desire to live in a tee.
Then there's the cabbage soup diet, the chocolate diet, the lemonade diet, the chicken soup diet and the Russian air force diet (guaranteed to help you lose the Cold War), all of which can be found on the Internet.
You've got to be careful, however. Prolonged dieting can lead to depression, reduced sex drive, fatigue, irritability, sinus problems, muscle atrophy and bloodshot eyes. Come to think of it, you can develop those same symptoms with prolonged exposure to journalism.
On second thought, I think I'll just exercise more and eat less, secure in the knowledge that the National Institutes of Health says that the commonly recommended program of reduced caloric intake along with increased physical activity has a long-term failure rate of 90-95percent.
Or, as Jackie Gleason once said: "The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it."
It may be football playoff season, it may be presidential primary season, but I'm willing to bet more people participate in this activity then all the punts and pundits rolled into one.
I speak, of course, of dieting.
This column has complained loudly in the past about people who gobble up double cheeseburgers by the bagful and then sue McDonald's because they packed on an extra 100 pounds.
And this column has insisted that personal responsibility is the true path to dietary health.
This column doesn't always practice what it preaches.
While I haven't fallen into the grotesquely obese category yet, it wouldn't hurt me to drop 20 pounds, to use a nice round figure which also describes my current body configuration.
I don't suppose it does much good to blame your weight gain on outside forces.
But what the hell, I'll do it anyway.
Reason No. 1: Tailgating. We have been UCLA football season ticket holders at the Rose Bowl for 25 years. It used to be a hot dog and a beer before a game. But tailgating has taken on all the trappings of a cordon bleu competition. Now, it's a salad course, a main course with side dishes, a dessert course all accompanied by three kinds of wine.
Then there's a post-game dinner, which, considering the performance of the UCLA football team
over the last few years, involves lots of comfort food.
Reason No. 2: Thanksgiving. Somebody told me that turkey is good for you. So I eat lots of it. So do most of my friends. Which brings up an interesting point.
According to a study by the New England Journal of Medicine, obesity can spread from person to person, much like a virus. When one person gains weight, close friends tend to gain weight, too.
The researchers reported that people were most likely to become obese when a friend became obese. That increased a person's chances of becoming obese by 57 percent. It did not even matter if the friend was hundreds of miles away, the influence remained. And the greatest influence of all was between close mutual friends. There, if one became obese, the other had a 171 percent increased chance of becoming obese, too.
Clearly, I need more skinny friends.
Reason No. 3: By the time we get to Christmas, we're in capitulation mode. Any thoughts of dietary sanity are postponed until after Jan. 1. After all, isn't that why we have New Year's resolutions?
I did read one helpful hint about how to survive holiday feasting:
Simply tie a piece of string around your waist before the meal - under your clothes. It shouldn't be too tight. You should be able to get a fist between it and you. When it starts to draw blood, you should probably stop eating.
Reason No. 4: I love to eat. I also believe that if you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
So how to drop a few pounds?
Well, there's the Evo Diet. As part of an experiment for BBC-TV, a group of volunteers set up a tent in a zoo - and ate like the apes for 12 days. A nutritionist devised a "three-day rotating menu of fruit, vegetables, nuts and honey."
The results were impressive: Cholesterol dropped an average of 23 percent. Blood pressure fell from a level of 140/83 to 122/76. An unintended side effect was weight loss: 9.7 pounds.
The bad news is that you have an unsaitable desire to live in a tee.
Then there's the cabbage soup diet, the chocolate diet, the lemonade diet, the chicken soup diet and the Russian air force diet (guaranteed to help you lose the Cold War), all of which can be found on the Internet.
You've got to be careful, however. Prolonged dieting can lead to depression, reduced sex drive, fatigue, irritability, sinus problems, muscle atrophy and bloodshot eyes. Come to think of it, you can develop those same symptoms with prolonged exposure to journalism.
On second thought, I think I'll just exercise more and eat less, secure in the knowledge that the National Institutes of Health says that the commonly recommended program of reduced caloric intake along with increased physical activity has a long-term failure rate of 90-95percent.
Or, as Jackie Gleason once said: "The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it."
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
What We Meant to Say....
When you look back at the dubious achievements of 2007, it's like surveying a giant buffet table.
I mean, where do you start? Subprime loans? Paris Hilton and/or Brtiney Spears? Lead tainted toys from China? Don Imus? Airline travel? Michael Vick? Donald Trump? Major League Baseball? The Coliseum Commission? George Bush? Nancy Pelosi? Larry Craig? Rosie O'Donnel? Any of the presidential wannabes?
What a feast.
But when this column set out to say so long to 2007, we decided to view it through the prism of newspaper corrections.
There's no deep significance in it. Indeed, after more than 40 years in the profession, it still amazes me that a group of people can produce a lively record of the day's events, usually flawlessly, in 12 hours or less. And then do it all again the next day. It's not called the daily miracle for nothin'.
But mistakes do get made. More often than not, they let us laugh at ourselves. Maybe it's best to look back on the year with a smile.
So, culled from Internet sources (including a website called Regret the Error), here are my favorite corrections of the year:
Running Mates: "A front-page article yesterday about the role that Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, is playing in his presidential campaign rendered incorrectly a word in a quotation from Valerie Jarrett, a friend of the Obamas who commented on their decision that he would run. She said in a telephone interview, 'Barack and Michelle thought long and hard about this decision before they made it' ---not that they 'fought' long and hard. (The New York Times).
Was There Anything Correct in This Story?: "Following the portrait of Tony and Cherie Blair published on 21 April in the Independent Saturday magazine, Ms. Blair's representatives have told us that she was friendly with but never had a relationship with Carole Caplin of the type suggested in the article. They want to make it clear, which we are happy to do, that Ms. Blair has never shared a shower with Ms. Caplin, was not introduced to spirit guides or primal wrestling by Ms. Caplin (or anyone else), and did not have her diary masterminded by Ms. Caplin. (The Independent Saturday (UK) magazine.
Why We Fight: "In an article in Monday's newspaper, there may have been a misperception about why a Woodstock man is going to Afghanistan on a voluntary mission. Kevin DeClark is going to Afghanistan to gain life experience to become a police officer when he returns, not to shoot guns and blow things up. The Sentinel-Review apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused. (The Sentinel-Review, Woodstock, Ontario).
Who's Sorry Now: "A headline in Monday's Daily News, 'He regrets his role in Postal Vid,' implied that Richard Marino, the subject of a YouTube video, was sorry for an incident in December at a Brooklyn post office. Marino, in fact, is not sorry. (The New York Daily News).
Flag It: "An article in Wednesday's Calendar section about an English-language newspaper in Mexico City referred to the many U.S. ex-patriots who live there. It should have said expatriates." (Los Angeles Times)
You Say Tomato..."Our story on the price of tomatoes last week misquoted Alistair Petrie, general manager of Turners and Growers. Discussing the price of tomatoes Petrie was talking about retail rate not retail rape. We apologise for the misunderstanding." (Sunday Star-Times, New Zealand).
Bird Brained: "In Friday's article on Liz Hurley's wedding it was wrongly stated that the actress is holding a pheasant shoot on the Sunday after the ceremony. Game shooting is of course illegal on Sundays and the pheasant season ended on Feb 1. We apologise for the error and accept that if any shooting is to be done it will be by the paparazzi, who have no season and do not observe the Sabbath. (Daily Telegraph, UK).
Who's Sari Now: "A report 'From Bombay to Rajasthan'... stated that actor Elizabeth Hurley will wear a 4,000-pound sari by designer Tarun Tahiliani during her wedding in March. While one reader wondered how she would be able to lift the 1,800 kg sari, another reader said there are possible fears about the bride being reduced to pulp by its weight. It was an error. The word 'pound' was used instead of the currency symbol for pound sterling. The Hindu
Par for the Course: "In a report about the Scottish elections, an editing error led to us wrongly suggesting that John Swinburne of the Scottish Senior Citizens' Unity Party had been accused of allegedly causing a breach of the peace by running amok in a polling station with a golf club. We apologise to Mr Swinburne for any embarrassment or distress caused." (The Guardian, UK).
How Many Words for Error? "An item in the Sunday Magazine referred to a popular but unfounded notion that Eskimos have dozens of words for snow, in this case 40. The item failed to note that the assertion has been debunked by linguists and others. " (Chicago Tribune).
Talk Show Hosts All Look Alike: "A Newsmakers item on Page A2 Sunday incorrectly attributed a quote to the Rev. Al Sharpton. The item should have said that nationally syndicated radio host Don Imus described Rutgers women's basketball players as 'nappy-headed hos' during a segment of his show Wednesday. Austin American-Statesmen.
It Sure Sounded Correct: "A Nov. 19 article about a new study indicating that Detroit is the most dangerous U.S. city incorrectly stated that Detroit has seen nearly one million people killed since 1950. In fact, that number represents the overall decline in Detroit's population since 1950, not the number of people killed." (Toronto Star).
Was There Anything Correct in This Story, Part II: "An article about Lord Lambton...falsely stated that his son Ned (now Lord Durham) and daughter Catherine held a party at Lord Lambton's villa, Cetinale, in 1997, which degenerated into such an orgy that Lord Lambton banned them from Cetinale for years. In fact, Lord Durham does not have a sister called Catherine (that is the name of his former wife), there has not been any orgiastic party of any kind and Lord Lambton did not ban him (or Catherine) from Cetinale at all. We apologise sincerely to Lord Durham for the hurt and embarrassment caused." (Sunday Times, UK).
Thanks for Clearing That Up: "No test samples were sent to Cork University Hospital. And that's all we're telling you." (Irish Times).
I mean, where do you start? Subprime loans? Paris Hilton and/or Brtiney Spears? Lead tainted toys from China? Don Imus? Airline travel? Michael Vick? Donald Trump? Major League Baseball? The Coliseum Commission? George Bush? Nancy Pelosi? Larry Craig? Rosie O'Donnel? Any of the presidential wannabes?
What a feast.
But when this column set out to say so long to 2007, we decided to view it through the prism of newspaper corrections.
There's no deep significance in it. Indeed, after more than 40 years in the profession, it still amazes me that a group of people can produce a lively record of the day's events, usually flawlessly, in 12 hours or less. And then do it all again the next day. It's not called the daily miracle for nothin'.
But mistakes do get made. More often than not, they let us laugh at ourselves. Maybe it's best to look back on the year with a smile.
So, culled from Internet sources (including a website called Regret the Error), here are my favorite corrections of the year:
Running Mates: "A front-page article yesterday about the role that Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, is playing in his presidential campaign rendered incorrectly a word in a quotation from Valerie Jarrett, a friend of the Obamas who commented on their decision that he would run. She said in a telephone interview, 'Barack and Michelle thought long and hard about this decision before they made it' ---not that they 'fought' long and hard. (The New York Times).
Was There Anything Correct in This Story?: "Following the portrait of Tony and Cherie Blair published on 21 April in the Independent Saturday magazine, Ms. Blair's representatives have told us that she was friendly with but never had a relationship with Carole Caplin of the type suggested in the article. They want to make it clear, which we are happy to do, that Ms. Blair has never shared a shower with Ms. Caplin, was not introduced to spirit guides or primal wrestling by Ms. Caplin (or anyone else), and did not have her diary masterminded by Ms. Caplin. (The Independent Saturday (UK) magazine.
Why We Fight: "In an article in Monday's newspaper, there may have been a misperception about why a Woodstock man is going to Afghanistan on a voluntary mission. Kevin DeClark is going to Afghanistan to gain life experience to become a police officer when he returns, not to shoot guns and blow things up. The Sentinel-Review apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused. (The Sentinel-Review, Woodstock, Ontario).
Who's Sorry Now: "A headline in Monday's Daily News, 'He regrets his role in Postal Vid,' implied that Richard Marino, the subject of a YouTube video, was sorry for an incident in December at a Brooklyn post office. Marino, in fact, is not sorry. (The New York Daily News).
Flag It: "An article in Wednesday's Calendar section about an English-language newspaper in Mexico City referred to the many U.S. ex-patriots who live there. It should have said expatriates." (Los Angeles Times)
You Say Tomato..."Our story on the price of tomatoes last week misquoted Alistair Petrie, general manager of Turners and Growers. Discussing the price of tomatoes Petrie was talking about retail rate not retail rape. We apologise for the misunderstanding." (Sunday Star-Times, New Zealand).
Bird Brained: "In Friday's article on Liz Hurley's wedding it was wrongly stated that the actress is holding a pheasant shoot on the Sunday after the ceremony. Game shooting is of course illegal on Sundays and the pheasant season ended on Feb 1. We apologise for the error and accept that if any shooting is to be done it will be by the paparazzi, who have no season and do not observe the Sabbath. (Daily Telegraph, UK).
Who's Sari Now: "A report 'From Bombay to Rajasthan'... stated that actor Elizabeth Hurley will wear a 4,000-pound sari by designer Tarun Tahiliani during her wedding in March. While one reader wondered how she would be able to lift the 1,800 kg sari, another reader said there are possible fears about the bride being reduced to pulp by its weight. It was an error. The word 'pound' was used instead of the currency symbol for pound sterling. The Hindu
Par for the Course: "In a report about the Scottish elections, an editing error led to us wrongly suggesting that John Swinburne of the Scottish Senior Citizens' Unity Party had been accused of allegedly causing a breach of the peace by running amok in a polling station with a golf club. We apologise to Mr Swinburne for any embarrassment or distress caused." (The Guardian, UK).
How Many Words for Error? "An item in the Sunday Magazine referred to a popular but unfounded notion that Eskimos have dozens of words for snow, in this case 40. The item failed to note that the assertion has been debunked by linguists and others. " (Chicago Tribune).
Talk Show Hosts All Look Alike: "A Newsmakers item on Page A2 Sunday incorrectly attributed a quote to the Rev. Al Sharpton. The item should have said that nationally syndicated radio host Don Imus described Rutgers women's basketball players as 'nappy-headed hos' during a segment of his show Wednesday. Austin American-Statesmen.
It Sure Sounded Correct: "A Nov. 19 article about a new study indicating that Detroit is the most dangerous U.S. city incorrectly stated that Detroit has seen nearly one million people killed since 1950. In fact, that number represents the overall decline in Detroit's population since 1950, not the number of people killed." (Toronto Star).
Was There Anything Correct in This Story, Part II: "An article about Lord Lambton...falsely stated that his son Ned (now Lord Durham) and daughter Catherine held a party at Lord Lambton's villa, Cetinale, in 1997, which degenerated into such an orgy that Lord Lambton banned them from Cetinale for years. In fact, Lord Durham does not have a sister called Catherine (that is the name of his former wife), there has not been any orgiastic party of any kind and Lord Lambton did not ban him (or Catherine) from Cetinale at all. We apologise sincerely to Lord Durham for the hurt and embarrassment caused." (Sunday Times, UK).
Thanks for Clearing That Up: "No test samples were sent to Cork University Hospital. And that's all we're telling you." (Irish Times).
An Immigrant's Tale
There are stories of the immigrant experience in the United States that sometimes make me downright emotional about this country, its freedoms and the people who through grit and sacrifice have made it what it is.
They remind us that we remain the land of opportunity, a beacon of light that shines brightly in the darkest corners of the world.
Such a story concerns a man named Tom Lantos who has spent his life overcoming overwhelming odds.
Unless you're a political junkie, you may not have heard of Lantos. He's a Congressman from the Bay Area who has served since 1981.
Lantos is low on flash but high on substance. He's chairman of the powerful House Foreign Affaris Committee and a Democrat who commands respect from both sides of the aisle as an expert in his field and a tireless advocate for human rights.
But it's the story of his journey to Capitol Hill that captivates us.
Lantos came to Congress by way of the Holocaust.
Born to a Jewish family in Budapest, Hungary, he was part of the resistance movement against the Nazis when they invaded his country. As a teenager, he was placed in a forced labor camp but escaped what was essentially a death sentence and was able to find shelter in a safe house in Budapest set up by Swedish humanitarian Raoul Wallenberg.
He survived but his family did not.
In 1947, Lantos was awarded an academic scholarship to study in the United States on the basis of an essay he wrote about U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
In August of that year, he arrived in New York City after a week-long boat trip to America on a converted World War II troop ship. His only possession was a Hungarian salami, which U.S. customs officials promptly confiscated when he arrived. Just a few weeks after he left Hungary, the Communist party seized control of the country.
In a documentary called "The Last Days," which chronicled the fate of Hungary's Jews at the end of the war, Lantos described his experienceaboard the ship.
As he lined up for his first meal, he was astonished to see wicker baskets filled with oranges and bananas. When he asked a seaman if he could have one, he was told, "Man you can eat all the damn bananas and all the damn oranges you want."
"It was then I knew I was in heaven," he said.
He attended the University of Washington in Seattle, where he received a B.A. and M.A. in economics. He moved to San Francisco in 1950 and began graduate studies at the UC Berkeley, where he later received his Ph.D. in economics. In 1953, he became an American citizen.
Lantos married his childhood sweetheart Annette and they settled in San Mateo County. He spent 30 years teaching economics at San Francisco State, served as a foreign affairs analyst on public television and won a seat on the Millbrae school board. When other Democrats passed on the chance to challenge GOP incumbent Rep. Bill Royer in 1980, he rose to the challenge and narrowly won.
Lantos and his wife had two daughters, both of whom promised a gift of grandchildren to their parents.
They now have 17.
"Because my wife and I were survivors of the Holocaust, because our own families were killed, the gift to us was to give us as many grandchildren as possible, to keep alive the names of those who were lost," he told the San Francisco Examiner.
"Our cup runneth over."
He is now face-to-face with cancer. Based on his past record, I wouldn't bet against him.
But he's 80 years old now with another tough obstacle to overcome. So he announced his retirement from Congress this past week. He received the cancer diagnosis from his doctors the week before Congress recessed in December, but spent two weeks consulting with doctors, his wife, Annette, and other family members before making his decision, aides said.
At a time when the economic, social and political aspects of immigration have caused controversy, Lantos' story underscores the fact that we are a nation of immigrants and they, or we, are our strength.
"It is only in the United States that a penniless survivor of the Holocaust and a fighter in the anti-Nazi underground could have received an education, raised a family, and had the privilege of serving the last three decades of his life as a Member of Congress," he said.
"I will never be able to express fully my profoundly felt gratitude to this great country."
That gratitute goes both ways.
They remind us that we remain the land of opportunity, a beacon of light that shines brightly in the darkest corners of the world.
Such a story concerns a man named Tom Lantos who has spent his life overcoming overwhelming odds.
Unless you're a political junkie, you may not have heard of Lantos. He's a Congressman from the Bay Area who has served since 1981.
Lantos is low on flash but high on substance. He's chairman of the powerful House Foreign Affaris Committee and a Democrat who commands respect from both sides of the aisle as an expert in his field and a tireless advocate for human rights.
But it's the story of his journey to Capitol Hill that captivates us.
Lantos came to Congress by way of the Holocaust.
Born to a Jewish family in Budapest, Hungary, he was part of the resistance movement against the Nazis when they invaded his country. As a teenager, he was placed in a forced labor camp but escaped what was essentially a death sentence and was able to find shelter in a safe house in Budapest set up by Swedish humanitarian Raoul Wallenberg.
He survived but his family did not.
In 1947, Lantos was awarded an academic scholarship to study in the United States on the basis of an essay he wrote about U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
In August of that year, he arrived in New York City after a week-long boat trip to America on a converted World War II troop ship. His only possession was a Hungarian salami, which U.S. customs officials promptly confiscated when he arrived. Just a few weeks after he left Hungary, the Communist party seized control of the country.
In a documentary called "The Last Days," which chronicled the fate of Hungary's Jews at the end of the war, Lantos described his experienceaboard the ship.
As he lined up for his first meal, he was astonished to see wicker baskets filled with oranges and bananas. When he asked a seaman if he could have one, he was told, "Man you can eat all the damn bananas and all the damn oranges you want."
"It was then I knew I was in heaven," he said.
He attended the University of Washington in Seattle, where he received a B.A. and M.A. in economics. He moved to San Francisco in 1950 and began graduate studies at the UC Berkeley, where he later received his Ph.D. in economics. In 1953, he became an American citizen.
Lantos married his childhood sweetheart Annette and they settled in San Mateo County. He spent 30 years teaching economics at San Francisco State, served as a foreign affairs analyst on public television and won a seat on the Millbrae school board. When other Democrats passed on the chance to challenge GOP incumbent Rep. Bill Royer in 1980, he rose to the challenge and narrowly won.
Lantos and his wife had two daughters, both of whom promised a gift of grandchildren to their parents.
They now have 17.
"Because my wife and I were survivors of the Holocaust, because our own families were killed, the gift to us was to give us as many grandchildren as possible, to keep alive the names of those who were lost," he told the San Francisco Examiner.
"Our cup runneth over."
He is now face-to-face with cancer. Based on his past record, I wouldn't bet against him.
But he's 80 years old now with another tough obstacle to overcome. So he announced his retirement from Congress this past week. He received the cancer diagnosis from his doctors the week before Congress recessed in December, but spent two weeks consulting with doctors, his wife, Annette, and other family members before making his decision, aides said.
At a time when the economic, social and political aspects of immigration have caused controversy, Lantos' story underscores the fact that we are a nation of immigrants and they, or we, are our strength.
"It is only in the United States that a penniless survivor of the Holocaust and a fighter in the anti-Nazi underground could have received an education, raised a family, and had the privilege of serving the last three decades of his life as a Member of Congress," he said.
"I will never be able to express fully my profoundly felt gratitude to this great country."
That gratitute goes both ways.
From Barack to Britney
Once around the news cycle:
It's January, when the nation's media converge on two places that usually fail to capture the undivided attention of most Americans: (1) New Hampshire; (2) a trade show in Las Vegas.
Once every four years, the state of New Hampshire becomes the scene of more political intrigue than the Roman Senate. That's become it's home to the nation's first primary which draws approximately one presidential aspirant for each five residents.
All you need to know about New Hampshire: It ranks 44th in total area and 41st in population in these United States. It's known as the Granite State because that term correctly reflects the facial expression of most of its residents.It has given us Horace Greely and Adam Sandler.
Its Mt. Washington claims to have "the worst weather on earth" due to hurricane force winds that buffet it on an average of every three days. Average annual snowfall ranges from 60 inches to more than 100 inches across the state.
You think the Clintons and Obamas and Huckabees and Romneys look forward to campaigning in California next month?
Then there's the consumer electronics show in Las Vegas which appears to draw every journalist in the country who is not in New Hampshire. Their job: discover a lot of quirky products with a high gee-whiz factor that most of us will never use.
This is the industry which has, over the years, given us Pong, Nintendo and voice activated car radios all of which have served to make the world a better place.
This year, for example, rap star Dr. Dre will be there to introduce an entire line of home and auto audio electronics sure to come equipped with woofers that will set off car alarms in the next county. He hopes to do for hip-hop what Emeril Legasse has done for frying pans.
But so far, the hit of the show is the world's largest plasma TV set, at 150 inches, or 12 1/2 feet, measured diagonally. It's 11 feet tall, and brought to you by Panasonic.
Just imagine watching "Dancing With the Stars," extreme fighting or the Cartoon Network larger than life in surround sound and high definition.
No price yet but the high rollers in Hollywood are already lining up to buy one. Too bad they won't be able to watch the Golden Globe awards on it.
That particular awards show has been canceled because of the writers strike. Instead of the usual self-congratulatory pap, NBC will broadcast a "news conference" in which the winners will be announced. Any resemblance to actual news will be purely coincidental.
Rarely does anything good come out of a protracted labor dispute but in this case, axing a manufactured egofest is a real plus. Who knew they needed writers for this drivel?
Speaking of show business, the AP bureau in Los Angeles has finally discovered Britney Spears, reports the website LA Observed. According to a memo to the staff from AP's assistant bureau chief, "Now and for the foreseeable future, virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal. That doesn't mean every rumor makes it on the wire. But it does mean that we want to pay attention to what others are reporting and seek to confirm those stories that WE feel warrant the wire. And when we determine that we'll write something, we must expedite it."
She's a big deal, to be sure, but not because of her boozy escapades. She's a story because she's a young woman in dire need of professional help who while in a fragile emotional state is being relentlessly pursued by a ravenous pack of paparazzi.
And who's there to offer her a hand? None other than the warm and fuzzy TV shrink Dr. Phil who, mindful of his own ratings, tried to engineer a show featuring Britney's parents.
He later canceled, because "the Spears situation is too intense at this time, and out of consideration to the family." "I've been working with this family behind the scenes for a long time, longer than you can imagine," he said.
If so, he's been something less than a great help. Britney has been married, divorced, lost custody of her children, been involved in a series of bizarre public episodes and has a 16-year-old sister who proudly announced her pregnancy recently.
While the family may not appear with Dr. Phil, they could pop up on the Jerry Springer show any day now.
It's January, when the nation's media converge on two places that usually fail to capture the undivided attention of most Americans: (1) New Hampshire; (2) a trade show in Las Vegas.
Once every four years, the state of New Hampshire becomes the scene of more political intrigue than the Roman Senate. That's become it's home to the nation's first primary which draws approximately one presidential aspirant for each five residents.
All you need to know about New Hampshire: It ranks 44th in total area and 41st in population in these United States. It's known as the Granite State because that term correctly reflects the facial expression of most of its residents.It has given us Horace Greely and Adam Sandler.
Its Mt. Washington claims to have "the worst weather on earth" due to hurricane force winds that buffet it on an average of every three days. Average annual snowfall ranges from 60 inches to more than 100 inches across the state.
You think the Clintons and Obamas and Huckabees and Romneys look forward to campaigning in California next month?
Then there's the consumer electronics show in Las Vegas which appears to draw every journalist in the country who is not in New Hampshire. Their job: discover a lot of quirky products with a high gee-whiz factor that most of us will never use.
This is the industry which has, over the years, given us Pong, Nintendo and voice activated car radios all of which have served to make the world a better place.
This year, for example, rap star Dr. Dre will be there to introduce an entire line of home and auto audio electronics sure to come equipped with woofers that will set off car alarms in the next county. He hopes to do for hip-hop what Emeril Legasse has done for frying pans.
But so far, the hit of the show is the world's largest plasma TV set, at 150 inches, or 12 1/2 feet, measured diagonally. It's 11 feet tall, and brought to you by Panasonic.
Just imagine watching "Dancing With the Stars," extreme fighting or the Cartoon Network larger than life in surround sound and high definition.
No price yet but the high rollers in Hollywood are already lining up to buy one. Too bad they won't be able to watch the Golden Globe awards on it.
That particular awards show has been canceled because of the writers strike. Instead of the usual self-congratulatory pap, NBC will broadcast a "news conference" in which the winners will be announced. Any resemblance to actual news will be purely coincidental.
Rarely does anything good come out of a protracted labor dispute but in this case, axing a manufactured egofest is a real plus. Who knew they needed writers for this drivel?
Speaking of show business, the AP bureau in Los Angeles has finally discovered Britney Spears, reports the website LA Observed. According to a memo to the staff from AP's assistant bureau chief, "Now and for the foreseeable future, virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal. That doesn't mean every rumor makes it on the wire. But it does mean that we want to pay attention to what others are reporting and seek to confirm those stories that WE feel warrant the wire. And when we determine that we'll write something, we must expedite it."
She's a big deal, to be sure, but not because of her boozy escapades. She's a story because she's a young woman in dire need of professional help who while in a fragile emotional state is being relentlessly pursued by a ravenous pack of paparazzi.
And who's there to offer her a hand? None other than the warm and fuzzy TV shrink Dr. Phil who, mindful of his own ratings, tried to engineer a show featuring Britney's parents.
He later canceled, because "the Spears situation is too intense at this time, and out of consideration to the family." "I've been working with this family behind the scenes for a long time, longer than you can imagine," he said.
If so, he's been something less than a great help. Britney has been married, divorced, lost custody of her children, been involved in a series of bizarre public episodes and has a 16-year-old sister who proudly announced her pregnancy recently.
While the family may not appear with Dr. Phil, they could pop up on the Jerry Springer show any day now.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A Bumper Crop
It used to be you could gauge the political mood of the country through the highly unscientific but remarkably accurate art of bumper sticker observation.
There were some rules you had to follow, of course.You had to drive through a cross section of Southern California to assure a accurate sample. Observing only in Newport Beach, for example, was a no-no. Ditto Hollywood with all those liberal actors. (Wait a minute, weren't Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenneger Republican actors? But I digress).
You also had to factor in that drivers of pickup trucks and SUVs tend to be more conservative, hybrid drivers more liberal. Did you ever see an peace symbol on a Chevy Silverado or a gun rack in a Prius?
These days, however, there seems to be a dearth of political bumper stickers. Mostly you see something like, "My Child Was Citizen of the Month at the Juvenile Detention Facility" or a war slogan such as "My God Can Beat Up Your God."
That's odd. It may be early but we're already beginning to separate the thoroughbreds from the Clydesdales in the presidential sweepstakes. I doubt if I'll ever see a Joe Biden bumper sticker or one supporting the candidacy of Tom Tancredo.
But we could reasonably expect to see a few Hillary Clinton examples, pro and con. Last year, a sticker that said "Run Hillary Run" was a hot seller in New York. Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.
I haven't seen a Hillary sticker locally so far.They're out there for sale, of course. Don't like her? Than stick a "No Way in Hellary" message on your bumper. Love her? Try "It Always Takes a Clinton to Clean Up After a Bush" on your car.
And Barrack Obama? I've actually seen a couple. That's doesn't represent a mandate but in my survey, he's the front runner among Democrats at this point.
As for the Republicans, I haven't seen so much as a lapel pin. Certainly there must be some people out there who revere Rudy, march for Mitt or are ravenous for Ron (Paul, that is).
But Republicans seem to be keeping to themselves a bit. The Bush administration hasn't quite worked out like they hoped and if you believe some media outlets, the Democratic siege of Washington is a mere formality.
On the other hand, Mrs. Dewey had picked out her White House china pattern before the final returns were in. Stay tuned.
While bumper politicking may seem silly, some slogans have been very effective in boosting a candidate's visibility."Nixon's the One" was a winner. As was John F. Kennedy's "the New Frontier," Franklin Roosevelt’s "A New Deal," Dwight Eisehnower's "I Like Ike" and Ronald Reagan's "Morning Again in America."
Then there was Barry Goldwater's 1964 slogan, "In Your Heart, You Know He's Right" which was twisted by his opponents into "In Your Guts, You Know He's Nuts."
The current crop of candidates haven't embraced a slogan yet. One wag suggested "Barrack to the Future" for Obama, "Hey, you'd run, too, if you were Bill Clinton's wife" for Hillary and "The Stormin' Mormon" for Mitt Romney.
I have a feeling none of them will make the cut.
In the meantime, keep your eyes open. The future of America may be appearing on the back of someone's car soon.
There were some rules you had to follow, of course.You had to drive through a cross section of Southern California to assure a accurate sample. Observing only in Newport Beach, for example, was a no-no. Ditto Hollywood with all those liberal actors. (Wait a minute, weren't Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenneger Republican actors? But I digress).
You also had to factor in that drivers of pickup trucks and SUVs tend to be more conservative, hybrid drivers more liberal. Did you ever see an peace symbol on a Chevy Silverado or a gun rack in a Prius?
These days, however, there seems to be a dearth of political bumper stickers. Mostly you see something like, "My Child Was Citizen of the Month at the Juvenile Detention Facility" or a war slogan such as "My God Can Beat Up Your God."
That's odd. It may be early but we're already beginning to separate the thoroughbreds from the Clydesdales in the presidential sweepstakes. I doubt if I'll ever see a Joe Biden bumper sticker or one supporting the candidacy of Tom Tancredo.
But we could reasonably expect to see a few Hillary Clinton examples, pro and con. Last year, a sticker that said "Run Hillary Run" was a hot seller in New York. Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.
I haven't seen a Hillary sticker locally so far.They're out there for sale, of course. Don't like her? Than stick a "No Way in Hellary" message on your bumper. Love her? Try "It Always Takes a Clinton to Clean Up After a Bush" on your car.
And Barrack Obama? I've actually seen a couple. That's doesn't represent a mandate but in my survey, he's the front runner among Democrats at this point.
As for the Republicans, I haven't seen so much as a lapel pin. Certainly there must be some people out there who revere Rudy, march for Mitt or are ravenous for Ron (Paul, that is).
But Republicans seem to be keeping to themselves a bit. The Bush administration hasn't quite worked out like they hoped and if you believe some media outlets, the Democratic siege of Washington is a mere formality.
On the other hand, Mrs. Dewey had picked out her White House china pattern before the final returns were in. Stay tuned.
While bumper politicking may seem silly, some slogans have been very effective in boosting a candidate's visibility."Nixon's the One" was a winner. As was John F. Kennedy's "the New Frontier," Franklin Roosevelt’s "A New Deal," Dwight Eisehnower's "I Like Ike" and Ronald Reagan's "Morning Again in America."
Then there was Barry Goldwater's 1964 slogan, "In Your Heart, You Know He's Right" which was twisted by his opponents into "In Your Guts, You Know He's Nuts."
The current crop of candidates haven't embraced a slogan yet. One wag suggested "Barrack to the Future" for Obama, "Hey, you'd run, too, if you were Bill Clinton's wife" for Hillary and "The Stormin' Mormon" for Mitt Romney.
I have a feeling none of them will make the cut.
In the meantime, keep your eyes open. The future of America may be appearing on the back of someone's car soon.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Come Fly With Me
Tell someone you're going to LAX, and the reaction is predictable.
Eyes roll, sympathy is expressed along with best wishes for a safe return. It's the same kind of response you'd get if you told friends you were relocating to North Korea.
Let's face it, a trip to one of the busiest airports in the world is no stroll through the park.
Just getting there requires the kind of cunning and grit that comes with traveling freeways where gridlock is the norm.
Negotiating the traffic at the airport requires the skill of a grand prix driver and the patience of a parole officer.
Parking is a breeze provided you arrive between midnight and 5 a.m. Otherwise, it's an Old West shootout, every man for himself, be fast, be merciless, take no prisoners and watch your back.
The ambience ranks somewhat higher than a Greyhound bus terminal but not by much. One critic referred to LAX as a "1950s airport operating in 2007."
There is some good news:
They're updating the international terminal, a development that occured when some airlines reduced flights because it was outdated.
And there are very few weather delays.
Aside from that, the news is mostly bad. The new Zagat survey just released ranks LAX as the third worst airport in the U.S., just behind La Guardia and Miami International.
Zagat based its ratings on the opinions of 7,498 frequent fliers and travel professionals.
And who did the Zagatistas like?
Tampa, Denver and Minneapolis-St. Paul were the top three favorites.
Of course, Tampa and Minneapolis handle far less traffic than LAX which tends make to make them attractive by comparison.
I've been to Denver numerous times. It's new and clean. It's also so far out in the sticks it's about a $50 to $60 cab ride to the outskirts of town and looks like a bunch of circus tents strung together.
Then there's the recent Forbes magazine survey which found that no airport in the United States ranks among the top 10 in the world, meaning that LAX has plenty of company in its misery.
(On the other hand, the Forbes survey rated the airport in Kuala Lampur as one of the best "now that they've rid themselves of the rat infestation.")
Meanwhile, the Zagat team also weighed in on the airlines, ranking them on a number of factors ranging from comfort and food to service and website.
Some highlights:
Alaska Airlines, "A refreshing alternative to the majors with a small airline feel with can-do crews who actually seem to enjoy their jobs."
American Airlines, "hit and miss can be excellent (especially in first) or disappointing, drawing gripes about snarly staff, pitiful food and seats the size of Katie Moss' backside."
JetBlue: Despite nightmare delays last winter, fans insist this snappy single class clarrier gets its right even when they don't since they own up to mistakes and work hard to fix them."
Southwest, "hecklers dub it a winged Wal-Mart and knock the open seating but to most its cheerful, comfy and consumer friendly."
United: "Economy Plus is a godsend for extra legroom but regular economy can feel more cramped than a clown car and it takes flak for sour staff, delays, lost bags and a buggy website."
US Airways: "Unhelpful as the DMV, schedule should be published under `fiction' and the Philly hub is the Bermuda triangle of luggage."
Other remarks from Zagat surveyors:
"They think nothing is too good for you and that's what they provide."
"Their planes make Larry King look young."
"When asked what kind of chicken they had, she replied, `the dead kind."
"They lose your luggage between Boston and Buffalo and give you someone in Manila to talk about it."
"First they make you need a drink, then charge you for it."
Of personal interest is the high rating accorded Continental which once lost our luggage, was hours late in departing and caused us to miss a connection, all in one day.
Happy landings.
Eyes roll, sympathy is expressed along with best wishes for a safe return. It's the same kind of response you'd get if you told friends you were relocating to North Korea.
Let's face it, a trip to one of the busiest airports in the world is no stroll through the park.
Just getting there requires the kind of cunning and grit that comes with traveling freeways where gridlock is the norm.
Negotiating the traffic at the airport requires the skill of a grand prix driver and the patience of a parole officer.
Parking is a breeze provided you arrive between midnight and 5 a.m. Otherwise, it's an Old West shootout, every man for himself, be fast, be merciless, take no prisoners and watch your back.
The ambience ranks somewhat higher than a Greyhound bus terminal but not by much. One critic referred to LAX as a "1950s airport operating in 2007."
There is some good news:
They're updating the international terminal, a development that occured when some airlines reduced flights because it was outdated.
And there are very few weather delays.
Aside from that, the news is mostly bad. The new Zagat survey just released ranks LAX as the third worst airport in the U.S., just behind La Guardia and Miami International.
Zagat based its ratings on the opinions of 7,498 frequent fliers and travel professionals.
And who did the Zagatistas like?
Tampa, Denver and Minneapolis-St. Paul were the top three favorites.
Of course, Tampa and Minneapolis handle far less traffic than LAX which tends make to make them attractive by comparison.
I've been to Denver numerous times. It's new and clean. It's also so far out in the sticks it's about a $50 to $60 cab ride to the outskirts of town and looks like a bunch of circus tents strung together.
Then there's the recent Forbes magazine survey which found that no airport in the United States ranks among the top 10 in the world, meaning that LAX has plenty of company in its misery.
(On the other hand, the Forbes survey rated the airport in Kuala Lampur as one of the best "now that they've rid themselves of the rat infestation.")
Meanwhile, the Zagat team also weighed in on the airlines, ranking them on a number of factors ranging from comfort and food to service and website.
Some highlights:
Alaska Airlines, "A refreshing alternative to the majors with a small airline feel with can-do crews who actually seem to enjoy their jobs."
American Airlines, "hit and miss can be excellent (especially in first) or disappointing, drawing gripes about snarly staff, pitiful food and seats the size of Katie Moss' backside."
JetBlue: Despite nightmare delays last winter, fans insist this snappy single class clarrier gets its right even when they don't since they own up to mistakes and work hard to fix them."
Southwest, "hecklers dub it a winged Wal-Mart and knock the open seating but to most its cheerful, comfy and consumer friendly."
United: "Economy Plus is a godsend for extra legroom but regular economy can feel more cramped than a clown car and it takes flak for sour staff, delays, lost bags and a buggy website."
US Airways: "Unhelpful as the DMV, schedule should be published under `fiction' and the Philly hub is the Bermuda triangle of luggage."
Other remarks from Zagat surveyors:
"They think nothing is too good for you and that's what they provide."
"Their planes make Larry King look young."
"When asked what kind of chicken they had, she replied, `the dead kind."
"They lose your luggage between Boston and Buffalo and give you someone in Manila to talk about it."
"First they make you need a drink, then charge you for it."
Of personal interest is the high rating accorded Continental which once lost our luggage, was hours late in departing and caused us to miss a connection, all in one day.
Happy landings.
Making a List
Christmas shopping used to seem so simple. You did two things: You descended with other parents on Toys R Us like flies on a rib roast, elbowing your way down aisle after aisle until either your patience or budget was exhausted.
When my kids got old enough to make lists of the toys they wanted, they would sit in front of the TV set on Saturday morning and jot down the names of every single advertised product they saw.
I did some of my best editing work on those lists.
After the toys were bought, you went to the Broadway or Robinsons or the May Co. and bought your spouse a sweater, a tie or shirt, a piece of jewelry and the deal was done. Neat and clean. After all, Christmas was for the kids.
In an act of absolute simplicity, my friend, the late columnist Jack Smith, once bought his wife an ironing board cover for Christmas because, he said, "it claimed to make ironing almost fun." And what could be a better gift than that?
You can't just buy toys any more. You need to check the country of origin, perform metalurgical tests and check the endless lists of recalled products your friends in the federal government provide for you. Whatever is left over, you buy, whether your kids want it or not.
You can buy stuff on the Internet, a convenience we didn't used to have, but you run the risk of identity theft, privacy invasion and the besmerching of your good name, not to mention your credit rating, if you do.
If your kids are older, or for the adults on your list, a sweater won't make their book of memories any more. It's got to be high tech.
And if you, like me, enjoy feeling lost, out of touch and beyond usefulness, go shopping for the latest in technological gizmos.
The following were actually listed as gift suggestions on the Internet:
"A MegaRAID SAS/SATA offering from LSI addresses any data availability concerns associated with deploying large number of drives in mission-critical environments. It allows system builders to direct-connect up to 16 SATA II and/or SAS drives. Also, by leveraging SAS expander technology, this adapter can support up to 122 physical devices for the most data-intensive environments."
And gift wrap it please.
Nothing says Christmas like a "DTX CableAnalyzer which will significantly reduce your total time to certify. It all starts with a Cat 6 Autotest time that is faster than many other testers - and fiber testing that is faster as well. But that is just the beginning. DTX Series testers also give you Level IV Accuracy, exceptional troubleshooting diagnostics, 900 MHz of testing bandwidth, 12-hour battery life, and nearly instant set-up and reporting."
Any questions? I didn't think so.
Looking for something more simple? Try a PDA. I used to think PDA stood for Personal Digital Assistant. Now I know it means Permament Digit Apparatus. Walk through an airport waiting area some time and try find the person who's not using one.
So have Santa bring an "HP iPAQ hw6945 Mobile Messenger which provides phone, e-mail, and more secure access to business-critical information. At the same time, let your HP iPAQ keep life fun using GPS Navigation, the HP Photosmart Camera, and Microsoft Windows Media Player 10 Mobile to play your digital music and videos. Quad-band GSM technology delivers high quality mobile voice and data services with roaming capabilities across the world.
"A variety of integrated wireless technologies are provided including GPRS/EDGE, Wi-Fi, and Bluetooth."
Don't know Bluetooth from the Blues Brothers? No problem. Try a video game instead.
Let's see what's available.
"Extreme Sports With the Bernstein Bears," "Custer's Revenge," (in which an almost naked General Custer is guided though a hail of arrows and fields of cacti toward a mostly naked Indian American woman tied to a post)" "Smurf Rescue" (in which one small mistake sends your cute little Smurf to a horrible death) "Super Columbine Massacre" (which is exactly what you think it is), "Communist Mutants From Space." All actual examples.
So maybe not.
Then there is a $24,000 gold and diamond computer mouse available from a Swiss firm, a Diamond MP3 Player for Dogs ($2000) or a 24K Gold and diamond encrusted hearing aid for $42,590.
Maybe a sweater isn't such a bad idea after all.
When my kids got old enough to make lists of the toys they wanted, they would sit in front of the TV set on Saturday morning and jot down the names of every single advertised product they saw.
I did some of my best editing work on those lists.
After the toys were bought, you went to the Broadway or Robinsons or the May Co. and bought your spouse a sweater, a tie or shirt, a piece of jewelry and the deal was done. Neat and clean. After all, Christmas was for the kids.
In an act of absolute simplicity, my friend, the late columnist Jack Smith, once bought his wife an ironing board cover for Christmas because, he said, "it claimed to make ironing almost fun." And what could be a better gift than that?
You can't just buy toys any more. You need to check the country of origin, perform metalurgical tests and check the endless lists of recalled products your friends in the federal government provide for you. Whatever is left over, you buy, whether your kids want it or not.
You can buy stuff on the Internet, a convenience we didn't used to have, but you run the risk of identity theft, privacy invasion and the besmerching of your good name, not to mention your credit rating, if you do.
If your kids are older, or for the adults on your list, a sweater won't make their book of memories any more. It's got to be high tech.
And if you, like me, enjoy feeling lost, out of touch and beyond usefulness, go shopping for the latest in technological gizmos.
The following were actually listed as gift suggestions on the Internet:
"A MegaRAID SAS/SATA offering from LSI addresses any data availability concerns associated with deploying large number of drives in mission-critical environments. It allows system builders to direct-connect up to 16 SATA II and/or SAS drives. Also, by leveraging SAS expander technology, this adapter can support up to 122 physical devices for the most data-intensive environments."
And gift wrap it please.
Nothing says Christmas like a "DTX CableAnalyzer which will significantly reduce your total time to certify. It all starts with a Cat 6 Autotest time that is faster than many other testers - and fiber testing that is faster as well. But that is just the beginning. DTX Series testers also give you Level IV Accuracy, exceptional troubleshooting diagnostics, 900 MHz of testing bandwidth, 12-hour battery life, and nearly instant set-up and reporting."
Any questions? I didn't think so.
Looking for something more simple? Try a PDA. I used to think PDA stood for Personal Digital Assistant. Now I know it means Permament Digit Apparatus. Walk through an airport waiting area some time and try find the person who's not using one.
So have Santa bring an "HP iPAQ hw6945 Mobile Messenger which provides phone, e-mail, and more secure access to business-critical information. At the same time, let your HP iPAQ keep life fun using GPS Navigation, the HP Photosmart Camera, and Microsoft Windows Media Player 10 Mobile to play your digital music and videos. Quad-band GSM technology delivers high quality mobile voice and data services with roaming capabilities across the world.
"A variety of integrated wireless technologies are provided including GPRS/EDGE, Wi-Fi, and Bluetooth."
Don't know Bluetooth from the Blues Brothers? No problem. Try a video game instead.
Let's see what's available.
"Extreme Sports With the Bernstein Bears," "Custer's Revenge," (in which an almost naked General Custer is guided though a hail of arrows and fields of cacti toward a mostly naked Indian American woman tied to a post)" "Smurf Rescue" (in which one small mistake sends your cute little Smurf to a horrible death) "Super Columbine Massacre" (which is exactly what you think it is), "Communist Mutants From Space." All actual examples.
So maybe not.
Then there is a $24,000 gold and diamond computer mouse available from a Swiss firm, a Diamond MP3 Player for Dogs ($2000) or a 24K Gold and diamond encrusted hearing aid for $42,590.
Maybe a sweater isn't such a bad idea after all.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
An Alien Concept
IF the Tournament of Roses folks didn't have enough trouble with the Chinese Olympics float becoming a thorn in their side, now comes word that New Mexico's parade entry is causing a bit of a stir.
The good people from the Land of Enchantment plan to launch an entry called "Passport to Our World and Beyond" down Colorado Boulevard which will commemorate the alleged crash of a UFO into the desert near Roswell in July 1947.
The military said it was a weather balloon but those who embrace the double whammy of space aliens and conspiracy theories have made Roswell their Mecca.
Some in New Mexico think that if the state is going to drop $200,000 on a float, there are a lot better things to celebrate than those who claim to have an up close and personal relationship with Jabba the Hutt.
Such as beautiful scenery, a unique cuisine, a thriving arts scene and an ethnically diverse population, for starters.
But those who object to the float have been left on the pad. Plans call for three big-headed green space aliens riding in an open-air UFO. There also will be rockets, planets and a 24-foot conical tower on the 18-foot-wide, 55-foot-long float.
The last time New Mexico had a float in the parade, it was a more traditional concept celebrating the wonders of the state and featuring Gov. Bill Richardson, whose current presidential campaign appears to be an alien concept to most voters.
New Mexico tourism officials said there was a 16 percent spike in requests for information from Southern California residents in the week following their appearance in the 2006 parade.
Imagine the interest they could generate this year, especially if they featured presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, who acknowledged during a recent Democrat candidates debate that he had seen a UFO. Or Jimmy Carter (ditto). Or former Arizona Gov. Fife Symington, who said he was among hundreds who saw a delta-shaped craft with enormous lights silently traverse the sky near Phoenix in 1997.
Maybe these New Mexicans are on to something.
A recent poll by the Associated Press found that 34 percent of people polled believe in unidentified flying objects.
Just to put it in perspective, that's higher than George Bush's approval rating.
And if that's not enough, a CNN/Time poll shows that 80 percent of Americans think the government is hiding knowledge of the existence of extraterrestrial life forms.
Sixty-four percent of the respondents said that aliens have contacted humans, half said they've abducted humans, and 37 percent said they have contacted the U.S. government. Maybe that's why so many politicians have admitted to UFO sightings.
None of this is lost on the Roswell Chamber of Commerce which throws an annual UFO Festival featuring entertainment (this year staring the Alan Parsons Project, War, and Element 115 which bills itself as the only band with an alien drummer), dozens of guest speakers (sample lecture: UFOs and the Death of Marilyn Monroe), balloon rides, activities for the kiddies, etc. They claim to draw 50,000 to their sleepy little town.
Actually, the Rose Parade is no stranger to things extraterrestrial. George Lucas ("Star Wars") was a grand marshal. So was John Glenn and Apollo 12 astronauts Alan L. Bean, Charles Conrad Jr. and Richard F. Gordon Jr. And even William Shatner of "Star Trek." I doubt if it was for his acting prowess.
So welcome, New Mexico. Enjoy your stay in Southern California which many people consider a trip to another planet.
And if you don't think there are aliens among us, go to the Doo Dah Parade while you're here.
The good people from the Land of Enchantment plan to launch an entry called "Passport to Our World and Beyond" down Colorado Boulevard which will commemorate the alleged crash of a UFO into the desert near Roswell in July 1947.
The military said it was a weather balloon but those who embrace the double whammy of space aliens and conspiracy theories have made Roswell their Mecca.
Some in New Mexico think that if the state is going to drop $200,000 on a float, there are a lot better things to celebrate than those who claim to have an up close and personal relationship with Jabba the Hutt.
Such as beautiful scenery, a unique cuisine, a thriving arts scene and an ethnically diverse population, for starters.
But those who object to the float have been left on the pad. Plans call for three big-headed green space aliens riding in an open-air UFO. There also will be rockets, planets and a 24-foot conical tower on the 18-foot-wide, 55-foot-long float.
The last time New Mexico had a float in the parade, it was a more traditional concept celebrating the wonders of the state and featuring Gov. Bill Richardson, whose current presidential campaign appears to be an alien concept to most voters.
New Mexico tourism officials said there was a 16 percent spike in requests for information from Southern California residents in the week following their appearance in the 2006 parade.
Imagine the interest they could generate this year, especially if they featured presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, who acknowledged during a recent Democrat candidates debate that he had seen a UFO. Or Jimmy Carter (ditto). Or former Arizona Gov. Fife Symington, who said he was among hundreds who saw a delta-shaped craft with enormous lights silently traverse the sky near Phoenix in 1997.
Maybe these New Mexicans are on to something.
A recent poll by the Associated Press found that 34 percent of people polled believe in unidentified flying objects.
Just to put it in perspective, that's higher than George Bush's approval rating.
And if that's not enough, a CNN/Time poll shows that 80 percent of Americans think the government is hiding knowledge of the existence of extraterrestrial life forms.
Sixty-four percent of the respondents said that aliens have contacted humans, half said they've abducted humans, and 37 percent said they have contacted the U.S. government. Maybe that's why so many politicians have admitted to UFO sightings.
None of this is lost on the Roswell Chamber of Commerce which throws an annual UFO Festival featuring entertainment (this year staring the Alan Parsons Project, War, and Element 115 which bills itself as the only band with an alien drummer), dozens of guest speakers (sample lecture: UFOs and the Death of Marilyn Monroe), balloon rides, activities for the kiddies, etc. They claim to draw 50,000 to their sleepy little town.
Actually, the Rose Parade is no stranger to things extraterrestrial. George Lucas ("Star Wars") was a grand marshal. So was John Glenn and Apollo 12 astronauts Alan L. Bean, Charles Conrad Jr. and Richard F. Gordon Jr. And even William Shatner of "Star Trek." I doubt if it was for his acting prowess.
So welcome, New Mexico. Enjoy your stay in Southern California which many people consider a trip to another planet.
And if you don't think there are aliens among us, go to the Doo Dah Parade while you're here.
Friday, November 09, 2007
The Worst of Times
JUST in time for Christmas, a group calling itself the Consumers International World Congress has come up with a list of the worst products for 2007 and the companies that make them.
Let me say right off the bat that I'm generally skeptical of organizations that call themselves "international" or suggest that their mandate is so large that they are, in fact, a "congress."
More often than not, they turn out to be a couple of zealots with laptops.
But in this case, the organization in question claims to be made up of 220 member groups from 115 countries whose goal is to "to secure a fair, safe and sustainable future for consumers in a global marketplace increasingly dominated by international corporations."
A noble cause.
It's just too bad they didn't come up with a name for their award, like the Corvairs or the Marlboros to commemorate a truly bad product.
This year's honorees include:
The Mattel company, "the makers of beloved children's toys, much of it covered with lead paint from its many manufacturing plants in China," according to the consumer congress. "The CEO first blamed China, then admitted the problem lay more with company product design flaws," the group said.
Actually, the folks at Mattel apologized to China for damaging its sterling manufacturing reputation. Two weeks later, Mattel announced it was recalling more than 170,000 Mexican-made toy kitchens sold in the United States and Europe because the pieces posed a choking hazard. Que lastima!
Coca-Cola "for unabashedly marketing packaged tap water. While the company rightly points out that the packaging on its popular Dasani brand bottled water doesn't specifically say it's spring water, it doesn't specify it is not, either," the group says.
OK, but guess who else got caught with their hands in the municipal water supply? Pepsi, whose Aquafina brand comes from the faucet, as it turns out. Indeed, about 25 percent of the bottled waters consumed in the U.S. come from municipal water supplies. The Natural Resources Defense Council recently released a study that included this tidbit on bottled water labels: "Spring Water" (with a picture of a lake surrounded by mountains on the label) was actually from an industrial parking lot next to a hazardous waste site.
Kellogg Co. "for selling junk food to kids. ... The company recently told the New York Times that 27 percent of its U.S. advertising budget was spent on targeting kids under 12," the group contends. "But with childhood obesity on the rise, critics charge the company has a responsibility to stop marketing its high sugar, high fat food to kids."
Take your kids for a stroll down the cereal aisle at the local supermarket sometime if you want to see this play out in real time. Of course, the Kelloggs and McDonalds of the world have been targeting kids for decades in their advertising. That's why God invented parents. To say "no." Try it sometime. It's grrreeeaaat! ...
Takeda Pharmaceutical Company "for pitching sleeping pills to kids." The U.S. arm of this $10 billion Japanese company took out a reminder ad ... using school buses, pictures of chalk boards and the like to remind users that "it's back to school season, time to reorder your sleeping pills," the consumer group writes.
Outraged critics screamed foul, but it still took the FDA six months to get the ad off the air.
But truth be told, this is a chicken and egg problem. According to the New York Times, the use of sleeping pills among children and very young adults rose 85 percent between 2000 and 2004 in yet another sign that parents and physicians are increasingly turning to prescription medications to solve childhood health and behavioral problems.
So what's a Big Pharma company to do? Listen to its public, obviously.
These firms are all well deserving of this recognition. But there are so many recalls and consumer alerts these days, it's a wonder we get through the day alive.
Consider these recent recalls:
Susan Bristol Inc., of Boston, Mass., recalled about 1,100 christmas sweaters with feather trim. The marabou feather trim on the sweaters is dangerously flammable.
Homelite Consumer Products, Inc., of Anderson, S.C. recalled about 6,900 chainsaws. These saws can operate while the engine is at the idle setting, posing a risk of serious lacerations to the operator and bystanders.
Life Fitness Division of Brunswick Corporation, of Franklin Park, Ill., recalled its exercise treadmills. The treadmill can unexpectedly accelerate, possibly causing the user to lose control and fall.
Ethan Allen of Danbury, Conn., recalled about 7,000 American impressions and new country rectangular dining tables. These dining room tables can be missing sufficient stability blocks that could result in the table collapsing.
And, of course, Sony's lithium-ion laptop batteries overheated to the point where they actually set laptops ablaze. A few of the flame-ups were caught on tape, including one at a conference in Japan, and quickly showed up on the Internet. The result was a massive recall.
Ain't progress grand?
Let me say right off the bat that I'm generally skeptical of organizations that call themselves "international" or suggest that their mandate is so large that they are, in fact, a "congress."
More often than not, they turn out to be a couple of zealots with laptops.
But in this case, the organization in question claims to be made up of 220 member groups from 115 countries whose goal is to "to secure a fair, safe and sustainable future for consumers in a global marketplace increasingly dominated by international corporations."
A noble cause.
It's just too bad they didn't come up with a name for their award, like the Corvairs or the Marlboros to commemorate a truly bad product.
This year's honorees include:
The Mattel company, "the makers of beloved children's toys, much of it covered with lead paint from its many manufacturing plants in China," according to the consumer congress. "The CEO first blamed China, then admitted the problem lay more with company product design flaws," the group said.
Actually, the folks at Mattel apologized to China for damaging its sterling manufacturing reputation. Two weeks later, Mattel announced it was recalling more than 170,000 Mexican-made toy kitchens sold in the United States and Europe because the pieces posed a choking hazard. Que lastima!
Coca-Cola "for unabashedly marketing packaged tap water. While the company rightly points out that the packaging on its popular Dasani brand bottled water doesn't specifically say it's spring water, it doesn't specify it is not, either," the group says.
OK, but guess who else got caught with their hands in the municipal water supply? Pepsi, whose Aquafina brand comes from the faucet, as it turns out. Indeed, about 25 percent of the bottled waters consumed in the U.S. come from municipal water supplies. The Natural Resources Defense Council recently released a study that included this tidbit on bottled water labels: "Spring Water" (with a picture of a lake surrounded by mountains on the label) was actually from an industrial parking lot next to a hazardous waste site.
Kellogg Co. "for selling junk food to kids. ... The company recently told the New York Times that 27 percent of its U.S. advertising budget was spent on targeting kids under 12," the group contends. "But with childhood obesity on the rise, critics charge the company has a responsibility to stop marketing its high sugar, high fat food to kids."
Take your kids for a stroll down the cereal aisle at the local supermarket sometime if you want to see this play out in real time. Of course, the Kelloggs and McDonalds of the world have been targeting kids for decades in their advertising. That's why God invented parents. To say "no." Try it sometime. It's grrreeeaaat! ...
Takeda Pharmaceutical Company "for pitching sleeping pills to kids." The U.S. arm of this $10 billion Japanese company took out a reminder ad ... using school buses, pictures of chalk boards and the like to remind users that "it's back to school season, time to reorder your sleeping pills," the consumer group writes.
Outraged critics screamed foul, but it still took the FDA six months to get the ad off the air.
But truth be told, this is a chicken and egg problem. According to the New York Times, the use of sleeping pills among children and very young adults rose 85 percent between 2000 and 2004 in yet another sign that parents and physicians are increasingly turning to prescription medications to solve childhood health and behavioral problems.
So what's a Big Pharma company to do? Listen to its public, obviously.
These firms are all well deserving of this recognition. But there are so many recalls and consumer alerts these days, it's a wonder we get through the day alive.
Consider these recent recalls:
Susan Bristol Inc., of Boston, Mass., recalled about 1,100 christmas sweaters with feather trim. The marabou feather trim on the sweaters is dangerously flammable.
Homelite Consumer Products, Inc., of Anderson, S.C. recalled about 6,900 chainsaws. These saws can operate while the engine is at the idle setting, posing a risk of serious lacerations to the operator and bystanders.
Life Fitness Division of Brunswick Corporation, of Franklin Park, Ill., recalled its exercise treadmills. The treadmill can unexpectedly accelerate, possibly causing the user to lose control and fall.
Ethan Allen of Danbury, Conn., recalled about 7,000 American impressions and new country rectangular dining tables. These dining room tables can be missing sufficient stability blocks that could result in the table collapsing.
And, of course, Sony's lithium-ion laptop batteries overheated to the point where they actually set laptops ablaze. A few of the flame-ups were caught on tape, including one at a conference in Japan, and quickly showed up on the Internet. The result was a massive recall.
Ain't progress grand?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
There's Something About Mary
I have a friend with a fear of flying.
It's not the takeoffs or landings, the claustrophobic seating, the
turbulence, the lousy movies and even worse food.
The problem is much more basic.
Her name is Mary Smith. Honest. And when she flies, that name sets off
more red flags with the Transportation Security Administration folks than if
she ran through the airport yelling, "Allah Akbar."
I guess that should come as no surprise. According to a new report, the
government's terrorist watch list has swelled to jaw dropping 750,000 names,
growing by more than 200,000 names a year since 2004.
At this rate, it will easier to compile a list of people who are allowed
to fly.
While there are undoubtedly some genuine bad guys on that list, many
common American names have been included under the theory that the next
terrorist attack might be engineered by someone calling himself Joe Jones. Or
Mary Smith.
If 750,000 names seems unwieldly, counterproductive and sometimes
downright silly, you're right. Consider:
U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy was denied permission to board several years ago
because his name popped up on a list.
So was a 4-year-old boy named Edward Allen.
So was Kernan O'Dwyer, who happened to be a pilot for American Airlines.
So was Daniel Brown, a Marine returning from Iraq, who was prevented from
boarding a flight home because his name matched one on the No Fly List. The
rest of his company refused to leave the airport until Brown was allowed to
board.
Is this any way to run a war on terrorism?
About 53,000 people on the list were questioned since 2004, according to a
story in USA Today, which said the Homeland Security Department doesn't keep
records on how many were denied entry or allowed into the country after
questioning. Most were apparently released and allowed to enter, the story
said, quoting a Government Accountabuility Office report.
We can all agree that eternal vigilence, as they say, is the price of
liberty.
But misguided vigilance is dangerous and ineffective.
The terror watch list clearly needs to be made more accurate. With three
quarter of a million names, the quality of the information comes into
question.
In the meantime, innocent people are being snared. As it stands now,
getting off the list is difficult. The government won't confirm if a person
is on a list or not, and the TSC doesn't take responsibility for names placed
on the list by a law enforcement or intelligence agency.
There is a Homeland Security website where you can fill out a form and
submit notarized copies of birth certificates and other personal documents.
If you are successful, you get a letter from the Transportation Security
Administration saying you have been cleared. But your name remains on the
list. On its Web site, the agency says, "While T.S.A. cannot ensure that
these clearance procedures will relieve all delays, the procedures should
facilitate a more efficient check-in process."
And, of course, the 800 poound gorilla in this room is the paranoia
caused by the fact that the government is keeping secret files of American
citizens.
Typical is the story told by Walter F. Murphy, professor of jurisprudence
at Princeton and a retired Marine colonel.
He reported that the following exchange took place at Newark where he was
denied a boarding pass "because I [Professor Murphy] was on the Terrorist
Watch list."
The airline employee asked, "Have you been in any peace marches? We ban a
lot of people from flying because of that."
"I explained," said Murphy, "that I had not so marched but had, in
September 2006, given a lecture at Princeton, televised and put on the web,
highly critical of George Bush for his many violations of the constitution."
To which the airline employee responded, "That'll do it."
It's not the takeoffs or landings, the claustrophobic seating, the
turbulence, the lousy movies and even worse food.
The problem is much more basic.
Her name is Mary Smith. Honest. And when she flies, that name sets off
more red flags with the Transportation Security Administration folks than if
she ran through the airport yelling, "Allah Akbar."
I guess that should come as no surprise. According to a new report, the
government's terrorist watch list has swelled to jaw dropping 750,000 names,
growing by more than 200,000 names a year since 2004.
At this rate, it will easier to compile a list of people who are allowed
to fly.
While there are undoubtedly some genuine bad guys on that list, many
common American names have been included under the theory that the next
terrorist attack might be engineered by someone calling himself Joe Jones. Or
Mary Smith.
If 750,000 names seems unwieldly, counterproductive and sometimes
downright silly, you're right. Consider:
U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy was denied permission to board several years ago
because his name popped up on a list.
So was a 4-year-old boy named Edward Allen.
So was Kernan O'Dwyer, who happened to be a pilot for American Airlines.
So was Daniel Brown, a Marine returning from Iraq, who was prevented from
boarding a flight home because his name matched one on the No Fly List. The
rest of his company refused to leave the airport until Brown was allowed to
board.
Is this any way to run a war on terrorism?
About 53,000 people on the list were questioned since 2004, according to a
story in USA Today, which said the Homeland Security Department doesn't keep
records on how many were denied entry or allowed into the country after
questioning. Most were apparently released and allowed to enter, the story
said, quoting a Government Accountabuility Office report.
We can all agree that eternal vigilence, as they say, is the price of
liberty.
But misguided vigilance is dangerous and ineffective.
The terror watch list clearly needs to be made more accurate. With three
quarter of a million names, the quality of the information comes into
question.
In the meantime, innocent people are being snared. As it stands now,
getting off the list is difficult. The government won't confirm if a person
is on a list or not, and the TSC doesn't take responsibility for names placed
on the list by a law enforcement or intelligence agency.
There is a Homeland Security website where you can fill out a form and
submit notarized copies of birth certificates and other personal documents.
If you are successful, you get a letter from the Transportation Security
Administration saying you have been cleared. But your name remains on the
list. On its Web site, the agency says, "While T.S.A. cannot ensure that
these clearance procedures will relieve all delays, the procedures should
facilitate a more efficient check-in process."
And, of course, the 800 poound gorilla in this room is the paranoia
caused by the fact that the government is keeping secret files of American
citizens.
Typical is the story told by Walter F. Murphy, professor of jurisprudence
at Princeton and a retired Marine colonel.
He reported that the following exchange took place at Newark where he was
denied a boarding pass "because I [Professor Murphy] was on the Terrorist
Watch list."
The airline employee asked, "Have you been in any peace marches? We ban a
lot of people from flying because of that."
"I explained," said Murphy, "that I had not so marched but had, in
September 2006, given a lecture at Princeton, televised and put on the web,
highly critical of George Bush for his many violations of the constitution."
To which the airline employee responded, "That'll do it."
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Striking a Blow for Consumers
I'M not a violent man by nature.
The Army tried to make me into a trained killer, but I came up woefully short.
I played all kinds of sports but, despite the urging of coaches and teammates, never really wanted to maim anybody.
With the possible exception of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, I believe in attempting to resolve all conflicts peacefully.
But sometimes you just have to hammer home a point.
I offer as Exhibit A one Mona Shaw, a 75-year-old resident of Manassas, Va., who took matters into her own hands to get the attention of her cable provider.
It seems that Mona bought into one of those "bundling" packages that cable companies like to arm-twist you about through endless phone calls and mailings. The service combines phone, cable and Internet service.
Her provider was Comcast. Without saying anything more about Comcast's reputation in the cable community, I will merely point out that there's a blog called ComcastMustDie.com that does a lively business on the Web.
Anyway, Mona and her husband scheduled a service call. The company failed to come on the appointed date. When they did show up two days late, they left with the job half-done.
Two days after that they cut off her service.
Mona and her husband decided the best way to get this misunderstanding straightened out was to visit the local cable office. When they arrived, a customer service representative told them the manager would be right with them and asked them to please take a seat.
They did - for two hours. At that point, the customer rep cheerfully announced that the manager had left for the day.
Shaw told the Washington Post, "They thought that just because we're old enough to get Social Security that we lack both brains and backbone."
So after a weekend spent at low boil, Mona, armed with a claw hammer, visited the Comcast office again.
But there was no waiting this time. Mona delivered a few well timed blows to a computer keyboard and monitor and, for good measure, to the telephone.
"After I hit the keyboard," Mona said, "I turned to the blond who had been there previously, the one who told me to wait for the manager, and I said, `Now do I have your attention?"'
In taking decisive action, she lived the fantasy many of us share who exist in an era when customer service is as forgotten a concept as chivalry.
For her outburst, Mona was led away in cuffs. She received a three month suspended sentence for disorderly conduct and a $345 fine.
But she eventually got the service she sought. From Verizon.
And won a place in our hearts.
My friend Doug Hays reminds me that an important anniversary in the history of the Rose Bowl is approaching.
And not many people realize it.
It was on Oct. 25, 1947, that the first football game from the Rose Bowl was telecast, a titanic between the Pasadena City College Bulldogs and the Los Angeles City College Cubs.
Doug knows because he played for PCC in the game. In fact, he looks like he could still run some deft pass patterns and toss a few blocks.
He offers as evidence a program that said that the broadcast, carried on KTLA Channel 5, would take place from the rim of the Rose Bowl on the 50-yard line with action close-ups by means of a telescopic lens.
The cameras would relay the game to the station's transmitter on Mount Wilson where it would be sent to every set within 150 miles.
Calling the game was Bill Welsh, one of those icons of early-day TV who did the news, worked as a sportscaster, covered live events and probably sold tickets and cleaned the rest rooms before he went home at night. He became such a local legend that he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
The Tournament of Roses Web site will tell you that the first Los Angeles telecast of a college football game was in 1948.
We may be dealing in semantics here. The 1948 broadcast was the first Rose Bowl game, not the first game in the Rose Bowl.
But in any event, both were forgettable.
Doug and his PCC buddies lost 32-6. "At least we were famous for two and a half hours," Hays says. "Channel 5 was the only channel in town, and everyone who had a TV saw us."
As for the 1948 Rose Bowl game telecast, it was Michigan 49, USC 0.
For the record, the first televised college football game occurred during the experimental era of television's broadcasting history, when a game between Fordham University and Waynesburg College was broadcast on Sept. 30, 1939.
One month later, on Oct. 23, 1939, Kansas State's homecoming contest against the University of Nebraska was the second to be broadcast. The following season, on Oct. 5, 1940, what is described as the "first commercially televised game" between the University of Maryland and the University of Pennsylvania was broadcast by Philco.
The Army tried to make me into a trained killer, but I came up woefully short.
I played all kinds of sports but, despite the urging of coaches and teammates, never really wanted to maim anybody.
With the possible exception of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, I believe in attempting to resolve all conflicts peacefully.
But sometimes you just have to hammer home a point.
I offer as Exhibit A one Mona Shaw, a 75-year-old resident of Manassas, Va., who took matters into her own hands to get the attention of her cable provider.
It seems that Mona bought into one of those "bundling" packages that cable companies like to arm-twist you about through endless phone calls and mailings. The service combines phone, cable and Internet service.
Her provider was Comcast. Without saying anything more about Comcast's reputation in the cable community, I will merely point out that there's a blog called ComcastMustDie.com that does a lively business on the Web.
Anyway, Mona and her husband scheduled a service call. The company failed to come on the appointed date. When they did show up two days late, they left with the job half-done.
Two days after that they cut off her service.
Mona and her husband decided the best way to get this misunderstanding straightened out was to visit the local cable office. When they arrived, a customer service representative told them the manager would be right with them and asked them to please take a seat.
They did - for two hours. At that point, the customer rep cheerfully announced that the manager had left for the day.
Shaw told the Washington Post, "They thought that just because we're old enough to get Social Security that we lack both brains and backbone."
So after a weekend spent at low boil, Mona, armed with a claw hammer, visited the Comcast office again.
But there was no waiting this time. Mona delivered a few well timed blows to a computer keyboard and monitor and, for good measure, to the telephone.
"After I hit the keyboard," Mona said, "I turned to the blond who had been there previously, the one who told me to wait for the manager, and I said, `Now do I have your attention?"'
In taking decisive action, she lived the fantasy many of us share who exist in an era when customer service is as forgotten a concept as chivalry.
For her outburst, Mona was led away in cuffs. She received a three month suspended sentence for disorderly conduct and a $345 fine.
But she eventually got the service she sought. From Verizon.
And won a place in our hearts.
My friend Doug Hays reminds me that an important anniversary in the history of the Rose Bowl is approaching.
And not many people realize it.
It was on Oct. 25, 1947, that the first football game from the Rose Bowl was telecast, a titanic between the Pasadena City College Bulldogs and the Los Angeles City College Cubs.
Doug knows because he played for PCC in the game. In fact, he looks like he could still run some deft pass patterns and toss a few blocks.
He offers as evidence a program that said that the broadcast, carried on KTLA Channel 5, would take place from the rim of the Rose Bowl on the 50-yard line with action close-ups by means of a telescopic lens.
The cameras would relay the game to the station's transmitter on Mount Wilson where it would be sent to every set within 150 miles.
Calling the game was Bill Welsh, one of those icons of early-day TV who did the news, worked as a sportscaster, covered live events and probably sold tickets and cleaned the rest rooms before he went home at night. He became such a local legend that he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
The Tournament of Roses Web site will tell you that the first Los Angeles telecast of a college football game was in 1948.
We may be dealing in semantics here. The 1948 broadcast was the first Rose Bowl game, not the first game in the Rose Bowl.
But in any event, both were forgettable.
Doug and his PCC buddies lost 32-6. "At least we were famous for two and a half hours," Hays says. "Channel 5 was the only channel in town, and everyone who had a TV saw us."
As for the 1948 Rose Bowl game telecast, it was Michigan 49, USC 0.
For the record, the first televised college football game occurred during the experimental era of television's broadcasting history, when a game between Fordham University and Waynesburg College was broadcast on Sept. 30, 1939.
One month later, on Oct. 23, 1939, Kansas State's homecoming contest against the University of Nebraska was the second to be broadcast. The following season, on Oct. 5, 1940, what is described as the "first commercially televised game" between the University of Maryland and the University of Pennsylvania was broadcast by Philco.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Rain on Our Parade
Pasadena's Tournament of Roses parade has spent most of its 119 years
basking in the warmth of public adoration.
The New Year's Day spectacle has been attended by millions and watched by
hundreds of millions of TV viewers over the years.
It is truly part of the American experience.
This year parade is attracting attention, too. But it doesn't smell like
fresh cut flowers.
The inclusion of a float celebrating the upcoming Olympics to be held in
the People's Republic of China is rapidly becoming a full-blown international
incident.
The float, depending on who's talking, is either an important moment for
the parade and China or a blatant propaganda tool for Beijing, validating the
Communist government's human rights abuses.
A spirtual movement called Falun Gong, banned in China, believes the float
has no place in the Rose Parade. Their claims of brutal treatment at the
hands of the Chinese government have the weight of international opinion
behind them. Amnesty International and the U.S. House of Representatives have
protested the treatment of Falun Gong practitioners.
Tournament officials, meanwhile, are standing shoulder to shoulder behind
the float.
All of this turmoil is about to fall in the laps of the Pasadena City
Council which, in addition to its lack of experience negotiating the
quicksand of international politics, also meets in an area whose population
includes the largest population of Chinese outside of Asia.
It's a long way from potholes and planning.
Some of the blame for this mess rests with Tournament officials, who
historically have been late understanding the socio-political winds wafting
around them.
They were late including African-Americans in Tournament activities. The
first female president, Libby Evans Wright, didn't ascend to her position
until 2005, not exactly the dawn of the women's movement. They selected a
relative of Christopher Columbus as grand marshal one year, not realizing
that by doing so, they alienated native Americans and civil rights groups who
view Columbus as no more than a pillager.
And they said they thought the Chinese Olympic entry was apolitical.
Apparently, they were wrong.
On the other hand, this float is not the product of the Chinese
government. While it is sanctioned by the Beijing Olympic Organizing
Committee, the bills are being paid for by wealthy Chinese Americans as well
as Pasadena-based label maker Avery Dennison Corp., which has major business
ties with China.
That puts Tournament officials in the position of chosing between two
opposing factions. That's a no brainer, of course. The parade is big
business, run by businessmen eager to tap into China's booming, multi-billion
dollar economy.
It won't be the first time in history that economic interests have
trumped human rights concerns.
Besides, it's a bit of stretch for anybody in the United States to wag a
moral finger over the issue of human rights. There was that slavery issue,
for example. And the near eradication of Native Americans.
Bottom line is that there's usually something every year in the Rose
Parade that will anger somebody.
Richard Nixon was grand marshal. Twice.
China Airlines, the flag carrier of the Republic of China on Taiwan, has
made appearance in the parade.
Are you Jewish or Muslim? Then you probably don't like to see the
Salvation Army band or Lutheran Layman's float coming down Colorado Blvd.
Disney, a staple of the parade for years, has been accused of human rights
violations regarding the working conditions in factories that produce their
merchandise.
The City of Las Vegas, not exactly synonymous with family values, has had
a float in the parade.
Unfortunately, for our city fathers and the rest of us, a parade can't
just be a parade. The world is too small and tensions run too deep.
So here's what we need to do:
Pass the resolution recommended by the Pasadena Human Rigths Commission.
It would state the need to improve human rights in China and would arrange
for the city to hold more meetings with the dissident groups.
That would portray the city as a sophisticated and sensitive entity
concerned with the rights and concerns of all its residents.
Avery Dennison, the company bankrolling much of the float's cost, has
already made this move with no discernable fallout.
Give the dissidents an area where they can stage a protest. Or better yet,
hold an informational outreach. If they were smart, they would take the
opportunity to educate the public about their concerns.
Maybe, just maybe, we can all learn a few lessons from this.
basking in the warmth of public adoration.
The New Year's Day spectacle has been attended by millions and watched by
hundreds of millions of TV viewers over the years.
It is truly part of the American experience.
This year parade is attracting attention, too. But it doesn't smell like
fresh cut flowers.
The inclusion of a float celebrating the upcoming Olympics to be held in
the People's Republic of China is rapidly becoming a full-blown international
incident.
The float, depending on who's talking, is either an important moment for
the parade and China or a blatant propaganda tool for Beijing, validating the
Communist government's human rights abuses.
A spirtual movement called Falun Gong, banned in China, believes the float
has no place in the Rose Parade. Their claims of brutal treatment at the
hands of the Chinese government have the weight of international opinion
behind them. Amnesty International and the U.S. House of Representatives have
protested the treatment of Falun Gong practitioners.
Tournament officials, meanwhile, are standing shoulder to shoulder behind
the float.
All of this turmoil is about to fall in the laps of the Pasadena City
Council which, in addition to its lack of experience negotiating the
quicksand of international politics, also meets in an area whose population
includes the largest population of Chinese outside of Asia.
It's a long way from potholes and planning.
Some of the blame for this mess rests with Tournament officials, who
historically have been late understanding the socio-political winds wafting
around them.
They were late including African-Americans in Tournament activities. The
first female president, Libby Evans Wright, didn't ascend to her position
until 2005, not exactly the dawn of the women's movement. They selected a
relative of Christopher Columbus as grand marshal one year, not realizing
that by doing so, they alienated native Americans and civil rights groups who
view Columbus as no more than a pillager.
And they said they thought the Chinese Olympic entry was apolitical.
Apparently, they were wrong.
On the other hand, this float is not the product of the Chinese
government. While it is sanctioned by the Beijing Olympic Organizing
Committee, the bills are being paid for by wealthy Chinese Americans as well
as Pasadena-based label maker Avery Dennison Corp., which has major business
ties with China.
That puts Tournament officials in the position of chosing between two
opposing factions. That's a no brainer, of course. The parade is big
business, run by businessmen eager to tap into China's booming, multi-billion
dollar economy.
It won't be the first time in history that economic interests have
trumped human rights concerns.
Besides, it's a bit of stretch for anybody in the United States to wag a
moral finger over the issue of human rights. There was that slavery issue,
for example. And the near eradication of Native Americans.
Bottom line is that there's usually something every year in the Rose
Parade that will anger somebody.
Richard Nixon was grand marshal. Twice.
China Airlines, the flag carrier of the Republic of China on Taiwan, has
made appearance in the parade.
Are you Jewish or Muslim? Then you probably don't like to see the
Salvation Army band or Lutheran Layman's float coming down Colorado Blvd.
Disney, a staple of the parade for years, has been accused of human rights
violations regarding the working conditions in factories that produce their
merchandise.
The City of Las Vegas, not exactly synonymous with family values, has had
a float in the parade.
Unfortunately, for our city fathers and the rest of us, a parade can't
just be a parade. The world is too small and tensions run too deep.
So here's what we need to do:
Pass the resolution recommended by the Pasadena Human Rigths Commission.
It would state the need to improve human rights in China and would arrange
for the city to hold more meetings with the dissident groups.
That would portray the city as a sophisticated and sensitive entity
concerned with the rights and concerns of all its residents.
Avery Dennison, the company bankrolling much of the float's cost, has
already made this move with no discernable fallout.
Give the dissidents an area where they can stage a protest. Or better yet,
hold an informational outreach. If they were smart, they would take the
opportunity to educate the public about their concerns.
Maybe, just maybe, we can all learn a few lessons from this.
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