Sunday, May 03, 2015

Inhuman Relations

It’s not often that I am moved to present the less-than coveted Inhuman Relations Award to companies who establish a new low in employee abuse.

I understand that there’s a never-ending tug-of-war between employees who feel overworked and under appreciated and management which views those same employees as a temporary nuisance, to be replaced much as you would change the oil in your car.

So acrimony abounds. Therefore, the winner of the IR Award has to register a big jolt on the Outrage Scale to gain consideration.

Indeed, the last company to be so honored was Northwest Airlines which offered some helpful suggestions to its employees who were being laid off.

Entitled "101 Ways to Save Money," the good folks at Northwest, motivated no doubt by pure paternalistic instincts, advised their soon-to-be-unemployed workers to buy jewelry at pawnshops, auto parts at junkyards and to take shorter showers.

Wait, there's more. The list included asking doctors for prescription drug samples, borrowing a dress "for a big night out" and giving children hand-me-down toys and clothes. Also suggested: "take a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods," "write letters instead of calling" and "never grocery shop hungry" which seems like odd advice to give the newly poor.

And the capper: "Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash." Or as it’s more commonly referred to: dumpster diving.

American Airlines was also a winner when it gave huge bonuses to its top executives shortly after flight attendants, mechanics and pilots had agreed to give back hundreds of millions in salary and benefits to keep the company from bankruptcy.

The latest contender is Walmart, no stranger to employee abuse.

If you’ll recall, the giant retailer recently closed five of its stores, including one in Pico Rivera for “ongoing plumbing issues that will require extensive repairs.” It is estimated the stores with be closed for six months or longer.

The human cost: More than 500 employees lost their jobs in Pico Rivera and 2200 nationwide. In keeping with Walmart’s warm and fuzzy relationship with its “associates,” workers received no advance warning.

A Walmart spokesman said that workers were told once the Pico Rivera store reopened, they would have to reapply for jobs. You can bet that regardless of their job level and pay, it might be at minimum wage. Accrued vacation and benefits?  Forget it.

It was ham fisted and brutal, even by Walmart standards.

According to one report, the Pico Rivera store underwent a $500,000 refurbishment over the last year, during which it didn't have to be closed--a refurbishment that included the restrooms and the grocery department.

In the meantime, this paper reported that the company has not yet asked for any building permits, which may be required for major work.

So while the mystery deepens, rumors surrounding the closure range from the plausible to the preposterous.

Plausible: The closures were a form of "union-busting" activity intended to get rid workers who were publicly critical of Walmart's labor practices, such as employees of the Pico Rivera store who went on strike in 2012 over "issues of scheduling, pay, benefits, part-time work, unfair treatment and discrimination throughout the country."

Preposterous: The closed Walmart stores will be used as "food distribution centers" and housing for "invading troops from China, here to disarm Americans."

However you want to slice it, a lot of people are out of a job. And as they were being ushered out the back door, Walmart handed them a publication giving them advice on how to deal with the living hell their lives are about to become.

“Care for yourself by eating well, exercising and resting when needed. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, chocolate and nicotine and depressants such as alcohol.” Advising someone who had just been blindsided by a job loss to eat well and rest raises callousness to unseen levels.

“Give yourself time to recover. Difficulties with concentration, memory or decision-making are common but short-term reactions.” So are anger,frustration and disillusionment which unfortunately are more often long-term.

“Remember, that difficulty sleeping, nightmares, flashbacks, and feelings of being hyper-alert are common and will diminish in time.” Time is a luxury a laid-off worker with a family to feed can’t afford. Those pesky mental health issues will just have to wait.

Now, take that advice and apply it to Jenny Mills, a nine-year employee of the Pico Rivera store before it shut down. As Mills explained it in an interview with Gawker:

I already couldn’t pay my rent or feed myself and my husband on the pay I was getting. So I’d already lost my apartment and was living in my car in their parking lot, and now I don’t know if I even have a job to go back to. It’s just gotten so ridiculous, and they didn’t give me any real help.

“[The managers] told me to go find somewhere to live, and that there would be a possibility for funding from corporate if I did. But no apartment is willing to take you before you can actually pay. I told Walmart I’d need the money for an apartment ahead of time, but they said no, they don’t do it that way.”

Walmart has not only won the Inhuman Relations Award. They may have retired it.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Rage Against the Machine

How I spent my week: Hunting down an insidious virus that had turned my desktop computer into a billboard for bogus downloads promising to fix nonexistence problems for an outrageous price.

There is nothing like a bare-knuckle fight with a bunch of cybercriminals to ruin my usual sunny disposition.

I contemplated flinging the damn thing off the Santa Monica Pier, or, better yet, removing my hard drive and dipping it in boiling oil while laughing hysterically. Instead, I reached for another handful of blood pressure medicine and washed it down with a dry martini.

Up in Colorado, Lucas Hinch had a different approach to his computer problems.  He pumped eight bullets into his 2012 Dell XPS 410.

So much for ctrl + alt + delete.

Hinch reportedly got great satisfaction from his action. "It was glorious," he told a reporter. "Angels sung on high." 

The Dell kept giving Hinch the "blue screen of death.” “It was extremely frustrating," he said. "I reached critical mass."

Alas, Hinch was cited for discharging a weapon within city limits. His gun was confiscated and he faces a fine although I’m thinking no jury would ever convict him.

I ended up with a menu full of malware and spyware search-and-destroy products which promise to keep my computer pure as the driven snow. Unfortunately, while they ferreted out viruses and other assorted junk, they didn’t prevent them from returning.

A friend finally suggested that I reboot my operating system to a pre-virus version  which, as of this writing, has worked with sporadic success.

Had I owned a gun however…

Lest you think Mr. Hinch and I represent some sort of technological lunatic fringe, there is a clinical condition known as Computer Rage which is spreading like, well,  a virus. And we have it bad.

According to one research paper on the subject, it is a heightened physiological response with associated feelings of anger and frustration resulting from using a computer or other complex electronic device. It may result in the physical assault of the computer or similar item, most likely leading to the device incurring more damage than it had before.

The malady is so common that a California company offering data recovery services to victims of computer meltdowns features a call-in service staffed by a woman who used to manage a suicide prevention hotline.

Further evidence is found in a survey conducted by the University of Maryland asking those afflicted with Computer Rage how they acted out their anger.

A few answers:

“I poured gasoline on a computer and set fire to it.”

“I once shot a computer with a .50 caliber sniper rifle.”

“I took great pleasure throwing an old monitor into a dumpster hard enough to smash it completely.”

“I have smashed 3 keyboards broken with bare fists caused by pure hatred against Microsoft Windows.”

“Coffee in the keyboard, with sugar works best.”

“Shot a 19-inch monitor with a 12-gauge shotgun. Then with a .22, then hit it with a hammer.”

“I once was so frustrated that my laptop was going so slow I threw it into a fryer when I was a manager of a restaurant.”

“I once got concussion from slamming my head on the monitor.”

And the ultimate comment: “I hate not being able to understand things. It makes me feel inferior, computers have a way of doing that sometimes. That's why I feel like smashing my computer with a hammer.”

One could deduce from these findings that computer frustrations rank along road rage and telemarketing calls as a danger to our collective mental health.

To avoid the kind of computer rage you might regret later, experts suggest using a strategy that's familiar to parents: take a break.

"Usually, the best thing to do is to get out of the environment. Just like if you get mad at your kids. Leave the house, leave the office, cool down for 10 to 20 minutes," said one.

Actually, when my kids misbehaved, I stared at them with a look that, if allowed to continue for too long, could have turned them into pillars of salt.

I it on my computer. It just stares back.

Someone suggested that companies could benefit from instituting 15 minute "frustration breaks" that employees could take during the week. Consider it the 21st century version of Industrial Age break-time.

The consensus from those who study such things is that when something goes wrong with your computer, the best thing to do is slowly drop the mouse and step away from the keyboard.

That smells like surrender to me.  Next time, I may just try the boiling oil approach.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

When Nonsense Becomes News

When Hillary Clinton announced last week that she would seek the Presidency, it was trumpeted by the major news outlets as “breaking news” even though she had been honing a campaign for months.

Indeed, she had announced her plans to launch her campaign via social media several days earlier.

As one colleague mentioned with just a soupcon of sarcasm, “Wow. Who saw that coming?”

You can blame this overreaction on the media, whose practitioners are so hungry for the red meat of a Presidential campaign that almost any event takes on epic dimensions and nonsense becomes news.


While driving to Iowa with aides and Secret Service agents in tow, Clinton stopped at a Chipotle restaurant for lunch where, it was reported, she was largely unrecognized.

The New York Times breathlessly reported that the order included a Blackberry Izze drink and that Mrs. Clinton carried her own tray. ABC told us that she ordered a chicken burrito bowl (with guacamole).

A Times column informed us that, according to Chipotle’s nutritional calculator, her lunch checked in at 840 calories, 11.5 grams of saturated fat and 1,720 milligrams of sodium. Mrs. Clinton’s order, the Times said, was healthier than the average American’s order, with significantly fewer calories, saturated fat and sodium than most orders have.

The Politico website disclosed that Clinton didn’t leave a tip.

Fox News host Andrea Tantaros suggested that Clinton visited the Mexican restaurant chain in an effort to appeal to Hispanic voters. No tienes ni un pelo de tonta.

Not to be outdone, CNN speculated that one of the biggest obstacles Clinton has to overcome is the perception that she represents the past.

What better way to shed that outdated 1990s stigma, they concluded, than appearing a hip restaurant of today like Chipotle?

And for true political junkies, Business Insider reported that President Barack Obama has also been known to frequent Chipotle, where he once caused a minor flap by leaning over the sneeze guard.

Can the Republicans close the Burrito Gap?  Stay tuned.

Not content to pick through the leftovers of Clinton’s lunch, some pundits are busy weighing in on issues that are remarkable in their insignificance.

Among them is Peggy Drexler who argues in a CNN opinion piece that the press is demeaning Clinton by referring to her solely by her first name.

“Since the news broke last weekend that Hillary Clinton had declared her candidacy, notable among the blitz of news stories are the many that refer to her as the mononymous "Hillary," as if she were a pop star in a pantsuit,” she writes.

Singled out for Drexler’s wrath are the New York Post and the TMZ website, both of which would rank in the bottom 10 of credible journalism entities. The Post is a sleazy Rupert Murdoch tabloid while TMZ is a paparazzi-fueled scandal monger, focusing on the foibles of the show biz set.

I read numerous news stories in the Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, New York Times, Chicago Tribune and this paper, none of which referred to Clinton solely by her first name.

That doesn’t stop Drexler who writes, “Whether she endorses the idea or not, calling Clinton by her first name serves to, at best, reinforce gender and workplace stereotypes -- that women need to be "approachable," not abrasive or aloof, in order to get the job done and be liked while doing it -- and at worst, infantilize and put her in her place.”

Which would be a powerful argument if it was supported by facts. It isn’t.

Then there is Dr. Julie Holland who writes in Time magazine that Clinton is the right person for the job because she is post-menopausal. As if anyone asked.

“The long phase of perimenopause is marked by seismic spikes and troughs of estrogen levels, which can last for more than a decade in many women. But afterward, there is a hormonal ebbing that creates a moment of great possibility.

“As a psychiatrist,” she writes, “I will tell you the most interesting thing about menopause is what happens after. A woman emerging from the transition of perimenopause blossoms. It is a time for redefining and refining what it is she wants to accomplish in her third act. And it happens to be excellent timing for the job Clinton is likely to seek. Biologically speaking, postmenopausal women are ideal candidates for leadership. They are primed to handle stress well, and there is, of course, no more stressful job than the presidency.”

All well and good but gender, age and Clinton’s hormone levels will not be an issue in this election. Any Republican nominee playing the gender card would run the risk of alienating 50 per cent of the country’s population; asking if she still suffers from hot flashes would be as like speculating on the size of Jeb Bush’s prostate.

Talking about age would be hypocritical. Clinton is 67.  Ronald Regan was 69 when elected. Bob Dole was 73 when he ran and John McCain was 72.

So far, Clinton has been the focus of this silliness. When the Republicans hit the road, it could rise to a new level.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

From Missiles to Mother's Milk

Once around the Internet:

It should come as no surprise that almost anything imaginable is for sale online these days.

In exploring the topic while providing my readers with content guaranteed to educate and enlighten, I have discovered everything from a Hughes AIM-4D Falcon Missile (warhead not included) to not-so-gently used underwear to Titanic-shaped ice cubes available at the click of the mouse.

I was nonetheless surprised to see a story the other day warning consumers about the dangers of purchasing breast milk online.

According to a story in the Los Angeles Times, researchers who tested 102 samples of breast milk purchased from popular milk-sharing websites found that one in 10 contained substantial amounts of cow DNA.

Further tests ruled out the possibility that the cow DNA was the result of minor or incidental contamination and suggested that the tainted breast milk had probably been mixed with cow-milk-based baby formula.

Disturbing news. On the other hand, who buys breast milk from anonymous Internet sites? In fact, who buys it at all?

Some 21% of parents who seek breast milk online are doing it for a child with a preexisting medical condition, the story said. In addition, 16% of those looking to purchase breast milk say that their child has a formula intolerance. 

That means 63% of purchases fall into other categories. A look at the breast milk websites shows that many are made by women who simply can’t produce enough milk. And, yes, there are a lot of male purchasers out there, most claiming they use it for health or fitness reasons.

Although both the Food and Drug Administration and the American Academy of Pediatrics frown on purchasing milk over the Internet, the trend is growing. 

Based on published figures, in 2011 there were 13,000 people participating in these transactions. Today, the number has grown to 55,000.

While I understand I’m wading into emotionally charged waters here, buying breast milk from an anonymous donor seems like a really bad idea, like buying a used toothbrush.

For all we know, Mother’s Little Helper may knock back a fifth of vodka a day or suffer from some loathsome disease.

Then there is the cost.  One website which runs classified ads offering breast milk, the asking price runs $1 to $2.50 an ounce although kosher breast milk was going for $3.50 an ounce.

Given that a 6-month-old baby consumes about 30 ounces a day, and figuring a cost of $2 an ounce, that could run to more than $1600 a month.

So much for the milk of human kindness.

Latest dispatches from the drought front:

Claire Cain Miller of the New York Times: “So people who eat nuts live longer and nuts are using all of California's water so we'll all die of either thirst or of not eating nuts.”

In the meantime, the Los Angeles Times is trying to drought-shame us by running graphics which disclose how much water it takes to produce our meals. Example: eight ounces of beef with six ounces of pasta and eight ounces of cherries will take 1,000 gallons.

Stay tuned for the “Drought Cookbook” coming soon to a store near you.

I am not immune from drought hysteria. I reached for a can of almonds at the market the other day and immediately felt pangs of guilt. Just think: the amount of water it took to produce those almonds could help fill a pool in Beverly Hills.

It’s Masters Week, when the whole world watches the most famous golf tournament of them all at Augusta National in Georgia.

The whole world that is except China.

It seems Chinese authorities recently announced the closure of 66 "illegal" golf courses -- roughly 10% of all courses in the country -- in an apparent attempt to start enforcing a long-ignored ban on golf-related construction.

The following day, the Commerce Ministry announced that one of its senior officials was under investigation for "participating in a company's golf event," thus putting him on the wrong side of President Xi Jinping's rules against extravagance among government officials, according to CNN.

You can bet that “under investigation” means we won’t be getting a Christmas card from him this year.

China has never really embraced golf. Mao Zedong banned it, denouncing golf as the "sport for millionaires." Even after China opened up and golf re-emerged in the mid-1980s, largely as a way to attract foreign investment, the sport was saddled with serious image problems, CNN reported.

It seems the construction and maintenance of golf courses is particularly resource intensive. China is home to 20% of the world's population, yet just 7% of its fresh water and 9% of its arable land, one-fifth of which is polluted.

Golf also remains prohibitively expensive in China where it is seen as a self-indulgent and elitist. In a nation of 700 million peasant farmers, a new set of Titleist clubs isn’t on many “must have” lists.

It sounds like getting a foursome together might be tough.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Saturday, April 04, 2015

Bank On It

Quick quiz: Whose face is on the $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50, $100, $500 and $1000 bill?  Bonus question: Who’s on the $100,000 bill?

If you answered George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Franklin, William McKinley and Grover Cleveland, you are correct and you may read on.

If you answered Woodrow Wilson to the bonus question by looking in your wallet, you can pick up the lunch tab.

Our currency is adorned with a pantheon of American icons. There is one conspicuous absence, however. A female.

Now, there’s a movement afoot to display the likeness of a woman on our folding money. Two have already adorned our coinage. Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea.

It is not without precedent. The likeness of Martha Washington appeared on $1 silver certificates in the late 19th century. But nobody plunks down a couple of Marthas for an Egg McMuffin these days so her fame lacks, ahem, currency.

It seems the winds of change are about to blow Andrew Jackson right off the $20 bill in favor a female. With all due respect to Old Hickory, recognizing the contributions of 50 per cent of our population seems right and proper.

Why Jackson? Unless you hold to the idea that any American President is beyond reproach because of the office he holds, he seems like a good candidate for retirement. 

While he was a hero in the War of 1812, he was also the architect of the Indian Removal Act of 1830, a dark event in American history in which as many as 45,000 Native Americans were forced from their ancestral homelands to be settled west of the Mississippi River.

Many suffered from exposure, disease, and starvation while going on the route to their destinations. It is estimated that 4,000 to 6,000 of the 16,543 relocated Cherokee died in what was to be known as the Trail of Tears.

Like many of our early presidents, Jackson was a slave owner. He was also a slave trader who, according to one account, was known to wager slaves on the outcome of a horse race.  Starting with nine slaves, Jackson held as many as 44 by 1820, and later held up to 150 slaves. Throughout his lifetime Jackson may have owned as many as 300 slaves.

Unlike other presidents, Jackson holds the distinction of having shot and killed a man in a duel.

Ironically, Jackson detested the idea of paper money and would be appalled to know he is represented on our currency.

Some explain that Jackson was merely a man of his times. But not everyone in the early to mid-19th century engaged in his callous disregard for human rights.

The fact is, nobody seems to know how Jackson ended up on the 20 in the first place (he replaced Grover Cleveland in 1928 who got promoted to the $1000 bill).
An investigation by the Washington Post found little explanation. Even Jackson historians said they didn’t know how or why he was chosen.

The Treasury Department’s website says the department’s “records do not suggest why certain Presidents and statesmen were chosen for specific denominations.”

Apparently, a substantial design change is not subject to Congressional approval. “The Treasury secretary has the authority to unilaterally make this change,” said Susan Ades Stone, executive director and spokesperson for Women On 20s.  
Her group would like to see the change made in 2020, the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote.

So let’s throw the rascal out, or off as the case may be.

Who will take his place? Stone’s group lists the candidates as Clara Barton‎, the founder of the American Red Cross; Margaret Sanger‎, who opened the first birth control clinic in the U.S.; Rachel Carson‎, a marine biologist who wrote the hugely influential environmental book “Silent Spring.” Rosa Parks‎, the iconic civil rights activist; Harriet Tubman‎, the abolitionist activist famed for her journeys on the Underground Railroad.

Also, Barbara Jordan‎, a politician who was the first black woman in the south to be elected to the House of Representatives; Betty Friedan‎, feminist author of the “Feminine Mystique.” Frances Perkins‎, the Secretary of Labor under FDR, who was the first woman appointed to the U.S. Cabinet; Susan B. Anthon,women's suffrage movement leader; Shirley Chisholm‎, the first African-American woman elected to Congress.

Additionally, Elizabeth Cady Stanton‎, early women's rights activist and abolitionist; Eleanor Roosevelt‎, human rights activist and former First Lady; Sojourner Truth‎, African American women's rights activist and abolitionist; Patsy Mink, the first woman of color elected to the House, and the first Asian American elected to Congress. Alice Paul‎, women's suffrage movement leader.

Whoever emerges as the leading candidate will undoubtedly undergo a highly political and public vetting process.

Perhaps there should be one more change: The new $20 bill should be redeemable for $15 to underscore the disparity between men’s and women’s pay.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

The Madness of March

Hi there, basketball fans. It’s time for the long-awaited matchup featuring the Southwestern North Dakota Screaming Snow Drifts and the Eastern West Virginia Possums in what promises to be a March Madness classic.

And a special thanks to AT&T which sponsors the entire month of March.  Without their generosity, this tournament along with Daylight Savings Time, St. Patrick’s Day and Grover Cleveland’s birthday would cease to exist.

A tip of the hat as well to Hoffmann-La Roche, manufacturers of Valium, for letting us use its trademarked term “Madness.”

Let’s throw it down to the floor, sponsored by Harry’s Hardwood, where our sideline reporter, who is in fact an aspiring actress pretending to know something about sports, will chat with Reggie Rimbuster, Eastern’s point guard.

Reggie, who suffered a wrist injury while resisting arrest, is averaging 3.5 points a game, which is 3 points higher than his grade point average. This interview is sponsored by Drone basketball shoes that promise to lift your game to another level.  Drones, now with advanced weaponry.

 “What are your emotions as you prepare to play this game, Reggie?”

“Well, you know, we’re looking forward to playing Southwestern because, you know, they beat us by 50 points last year so we’re, you know, upset because, you know, we thought we got screwed by the refs.”

“What are the keys to the game?”

“Well, you know, we need to score more points than them.”

“Thanks Reggie for those exclusive insights into the game.  Back to you guys.”

And now here’s our other sideline reporter, a guy who admits he would rather be second banana in a TV sit-com, interviewing Southwestern’s coach, Chalk Talk Smith. This spontaneous interview is sponsored by Brainy Beer, the brew that will make you think you know it all. Be brilliant. Be charming. Be irresistible. Drink beer.

“Coach Smith, how do you approach this game?”

“Through the locker room door.”

“I mean, what is your strategy?”

“That’s up to my assistant coaches.  My job is to scream at the refs.”

“Why do the call your team the Possums?”

“Because we play dead at home and die on the road.”

There you have it folks, insights from those who will participate in tonight’s game.  Those insights are brought to you by McDonalds. Wherever you may travel, there’s a McDonalds in sight.

Stay tuned for a word from our sponsors:  Ford, General Motors, Chrysler, Audi, Mercedes Benz, Porsche, Volkswagen, Fiat, Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Lexus, Infiniti, Kia, Hyundai, Arby’s, Burger King, Jack in the Box, Sonic, Subway, Bud, Coors, Millers, various telecommunication and brokerage firms, the Army, Navy and Marine Corps.

When our sponsors are done, we’ll return with the halftime show.

So here we are in the middle of March Madness.  Across the Atlantic, the term signifies the breeding season of the European Hare.  In the U.S., it refers to the Men’s and Women’s NCAA Basketball championships.

I suspect the U.S. version of March Madness is of greater interest, unless, of course, you’re a female hare.

There are 68 teams competing for the championship.  For those of you with a long memory, there were eight teams in the tournament from 1939 to 1950.

Talk about an event that captures the public’s imagination: March Madness costs $1.2 billion for every unproductive hour, according to one estimate.  “March Madness Ready to Distract Workers Nationwide," fretted Fox Business last week. "Say Farewell to Productivity: March Madness App released," declared PC Magazine.

So what do our fellow citizens do while goofing off?  A story in the Los Angeles Times several years ago cited an FBI source that more than $2.5 billion was illegally wagered on the tournament. 

I assume “illegally wagered” includes your office pool. It probably would be a good idea not to post your picks on Facebook.

And don’t spend your winnings quite yet. There are 9.2 quintillion possibilities for the possible winners in a NCAA bracket, making the odds of randomly picking a perfect bracket (i.e. without weighting for seed number) 9.2 quintillion to 1, according to one estimate.

Madness indeed.

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.

Saturday, March 07, 2015

Good Day Sunshine

Daylight Savings Time starts today. And that’s bad news for a lot of folks.

To hear tell, this will result in an increase in heart attacks and suicides, lower SAT scores, a decline in productivity and all sorts of other ills including but not limited to plagues of boils, frogs and locusts.

Even my sainted grandmother would draw a distinction between "God's time and Mr. Roosevelt's time" when spring rolled around.

Actually, Grandmother’s viewpoint was shaped by the fact that she was a Southern-born, rock-ribbed Republican, and the words "Mr. Roosevelt" would roll off her tongue with the same disagreeing tone usually reserved for "Yankees" or "canker sores."

But we digress. Others have more substantial problems with Daylight Savings.  Take the issue of energy savings, for example.

The U.S. Department of Transportation insists that Daylight-Savings Time trims the entire country's electricity usage by a small but significant amount, about 1 percent each day, because less electricity is used for lighting and appliances.

A couple of Yale academic types disagree.

It seems that the state of Indiana, once home to counties that both did and did not observe DST, adopted the practice statewide in 2006.

That unusual event meant Matthew Kotchen, an environmental economist at Yale, and colleagues could compare before-and-after electricity use across the state, according to an article in National Geographic.

In their study, they found that lighting demand dropped, but the warmer hour of extra daylight tacked onto each evening led to more air-conditioning use, which canceled out the gains from reduced lighting and then some: Hoosiers paid higher electric bills than before DST, the study showed.

Of course, that’s Indiana, a state largely populated by cornfields, cows and basketball hoops that simmers beneath a blanket of oppressive summer heat and humidity.

It apparently never occurred to our Yale friends to look to the West Coast, where air conditioning is rarely a necessity and reduced lighting can indeed result in savings.  So much for East Coast navel gazing.

I love Daylight Savings Time. The lingering daylight reminds me of spring and summer, of baseball and barbecues. Besides, man was made to walk upright in the light, not cower in darkness.

It would almost unpatriotic to dump DST. After all, the was the brainchild of Benjamin Franklin who, while living in Paris, first conceived the notion of daylight-saving time, according to David Prerau, who wrote "Seize the Daylight: A Brief History of Daylight Saving Time."

Franklin wrote that he was awakened early and was surprised that the sun was up, well before his usual noon rising. He humorously described how he checked the next two days and found that, yes, it actually did rise so early every day. Imagine, he said, how many candles could be saved if people awakened earlier, and he suggested firing cannons in each square at dawn "to wake the sluggards and open their eyes to their true interest."

Franklin, as usual, was ahead of his time, even if he was engaging in a bit of whimsy. Some historians even attribute Franklin's dictum "early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise" to his experience.

I will count Ben on my side. And joining me in my embrace of Daylight Savings Time is the golf industry which estimated that the extra month added to DST in 2005 was worth $200 to $400 million. Not to mention the U.S. barbecue industry which pegged their increased profits at $150 million.

Also in my corner: The aforementioned President Franklin Roosevelt who during World War II, instituted year-round Daylight Savings Time; President Lyndon B. Johnson who decided to implement a law stating that DST would begin the last Sunday of April and end on the last Sunday of October every year nationwide.  And President George W. Bush who extended DST for an extra four weeks through an energy bill policy.

Opposing me on daylight savings is the TV industry. According to Nielsen ratings during the first week of daylight saving, no matter when it is, even the most popular shows go down by 10 to 15 percent in viewership.

And Vladimir Putin who decided to abolish daylight savings time across Russia.  One news report put it this way: "On Sunday, Russia switches to wintertime and stays there. Forever."

Robert Rector is a veteran of 50 years in print journalism. He has worked at the San Francisco Examiner, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Valley News, Los Angeles Times and Pasadena Star-News. His columns can be found at Robert-Rector@Blogspot.Com.